— René Descartes

Am I weird for thinking both of these options look great?

IIRC it is actually a different physics engine than BotW. BotW couldn't handle all the physics interactions in TotK. That's what's so impressive about the game. Physics-based games are rare, especially for AAA-developers, because it's just a lot of work. In TotK everything just works as you'd expect. You're just looking at it from a gameplay perspective while ignoring the technical achievements.

Simon's Quest doesn't deserve to be called a bad game. The music and graphics are quite good for the NES and the open structure of the game was quite novel and many elements like the leveling system became staples of the series from SotN onward. The thing that really holds it back is the terrible english translation which makes the puzzles way harder than they need to be.

Atlus keeps making me regret buying their games on release with these definitive editions that are definitely better versions of the games but are sold for the same price with no option to upgrade from the original version.

I had the same experience with the game. It has a really cool world and story but as I finished the game, because I guess I wanted to be able to say I've finished one of the classics, I felt mostly just annoyed. There were moments where the game felt truly magical but the controls were constantly stopping me from getting immersed. It's one of those unfortunate instances where everything else is great but it fails for me in the most important aspect of a game which is the gameplay.

Sure there aren't that many cards but those cards are so well balanced. Every single card has its uses so you're constantly presented with interesting decisions. It feels like almost every other roguelike has dead time where you're just going through the motions whereas in slay the spire you're making decisions from floor 1.

American Psycho is my favorite comedy movie

Nier Automata is one of my top 3 favorite games of all time but I agree with you. The beginning sequence sucks.

I can't believe no one has mentioned Wildfrost! Just look at the artstyle. It's incredibly cute but it also has a lot of strategic depth. Right now winning a run in the game is quite hard but in the beta branch they've just made it easier to win a normal run while also adding more challenge modifiers for those who want the challenge.

Would you like them to test on you instead?

I understand limiting saves to avoid savescumming. Not allowing you to save and quit whenever you want in Funger makes no sense though. I quickly installed a mod for Termina to suspend and resume the game because it's ridiculous to have to play 3+ hours straight before being allowed to close the game.