For me, I do get mad occasionally but I just see that me getting mad doesn't get me anywhere. I just gotta fix the problem.

Can you give us a little anecdote or vignette of a recent situation?

Re:dogs - It sounds like you might need to set boundaries with your dogs and whomever allows them outside so there is a procedure everybody (including dogs) is aware of and knows needs to happen that you have put together to avoid having this problem again.

Anger is a sign that we feel we being treated unfairly or things are happening that we believe are not acceptable to continue happening. I would encourage you to make friends with your anger and allow it to illuminate that which needs to be examined or altered so your anger doesn't need to pay it further attention as you work to resolve the discrepancy

Anger is really good at intuiting that the equation isn't adding up and that there is a miscalculation that you must rebalance in order to discharge its responsibilities. Until that happens, anger will be wherever you go and be activated by more and more related and unrelated things.

Edit: I had a small breakthrough just now grappling with this question, thanks OP, lets have another if you like

Could try studying stochastic philosophy. I've always generally been calm but had an extra realization that getting upset at things doesn't help the situation I'm in and is generally just a waste of energy. So why waste time feeling terrible when I can just accept whatever is going on and move on with my life.

I don't think I have the emotional range to "get angry" the way most people describe it (as some overcoming urge). It's an alien concept to me. For me, anger is a quiet loosening of my moral obligation towards someone, a re-tallying of social contracts, something done consciously and with purpose.

If I should appear angry, but just "go with the flow" instead, it doesn't mean I'm not angry -- it means I no longer feel the need to be honest with you about my thoughts or feelings. I've found that by and large, people fail to notice the difference.

So if it is any consolation, at least some of us who appear easygoing are actually furious internally.

I know your feeling - though I find it hard to truly lose my temper, I do tend to stress out easily and start venting outloud.

I feel like externalising my stressors is the only way to let them go, even if nobody wants to listen, otherwise I just end up bottling things up.

Regular exercise (every other day at least) makes a big difference for me.

That all starts with being able to recognize those emotions in the moment. If you can’t change the past, then why are you putting energy into getting angry over it? In your dog example, you’re going to have to clean it either way so stop to think about what’s more valuable to you - moving forward and learning for next time or using your energy to get angry.

There’s nothing wrong with getting angry. Anger is a useful emotion. Use it to your benefit rather than to your detriment.

I feel smoking crack helps smooth out the edges

You should take a sabbatical or however else a time out.

What can i say, the dude abides

Buddhism, meditation, and generally knowing that everything is temporary. Gratitude / "counting your blessings" helps increase general happiness, as it's easy to forget what's going right

I cannot recommend mindfulness enough, as already suggested by many others in this thread.

I think, you said you are already in therapy? In this case, I would definitely talk with your therapist about this and things you want to adopt beforehand. If you want a simple concrete tip, you could try the "mindfulness coach" by the US department of veteran affairs. I liked it a lot and the apps from there get good privacy recommendations from mozilla.

I am a bit suprised by the many people recommending to just stop giving fucks. Is this what you really want? Or do you just want avoid the emotions of taking control?

Going with the flow is such an important skill that more parents need to put more of a focus in teaching. It's all about making sure that your response is a realistic way of attaining your goal in the situation.

If I'm talking to someone else and trying to help them through a situation like they say, ask them to think for a minute if getting angry will do anything at all to help the situation they find themselves in.

"You are absolutely right to be upset about this situation, and if you need to take a minute to feel that rage, go right ahead. Once you're ready though, let's take a deep breath, remember that we can't change what's already happened and instead be strategic and intentional about what we do from here to correct for what just happened"

Being able to gain control of yourself is a skill that requires practice. Intrusive thoughts and feelings and emotions happen to everyone, the trick is just recognizing when it's happening. When you recognize that it's happening, take a deep breath and shake it off. For me that means just slowing down and being much more methodical and intentional about anything that I say or do until that fight or flight mode response disengages. Be conscious of the fact that my reflexes cannot be trusted when I am in fight or flight mode.

Well, it’s not something I do as much as it is just who I am. I never choose to just be chill, it’s just that I very rarely get annoyed or mad. Even the rare times I do, I can often just breathe out and force a genuine smile thinking about everything nice and beautiful, and it just doesn’t stick. I get happy and content and will just clean up and laugh or facepalm at my clumsiness or dumbness or whatever. I’m a serious goof though. Maybe it’s easier if you don’t (and simply can’t) take yourself too seriously.

In the end nothing really matters, the universe will suffer a heat death and we're just here for a extremely short ride.

This is my husband and I ask him on a regular basis. I still have no idea.

Marijuana

It's a combination of a few things. I've always been fairly chill, and I think these factors help further that zen.

Having a potent sense of humor makes it easy to laugh off anything from mundane to tragic. Always preferred to "laugh, so I don't cry." Easily my biggest coping mechanism.

Another good method I heard was this perspective exercise. When something irks you, stop and think "will I still be upset about this a week from now, month from now, year from now?" Usually the answer is no, I'll have completely forgotten about this mild inconvenience. If it's something I'll be upset about a year out, then I'm justified being upset in the moment.

Finally, another tool of perspective is the cosmic absurdity of it all. Here we are, sharing this tiny mossy pebble of a space ship called Earth, in the middle of the goddamn boondocks of outer space. If this entire planet disappeared overnight, the universe at large wouldn't even notice. For an inconceivable distance in every direction is a cosmic lifeless void. In the absolute grand scheme of things, all these little grievances are so insignificant. It's insane that any of us are here. We'll return to infinite nothingness soon enough. Take a deep breath, enjoy the ride while it lasts.

Idk maybe hit a joint once in a while too lol