Skill issue. Kids are really not that hard if you take it seriously like any other job. Traveling is mostly dead though until they turn teen.
My parents took my sister and I to China, Hawaii, Europe, as well as other vacations when I was like 10-14 or something. I knew it wasn't normal when we were doing it, like my friends families weren't doing this, but I didn't realize how unusual it was until much later. I definitely respect them for not leaving us, the kids, out of it, and teaching us how to travel, but man it's crazy to spend that much money on a kid that'll only remember a fraction of the trip at best.
Tangentially, speaking of memory - in China specifically, I remember being kinda swarmed by locals taking selfies with us, as my sister and I were two blond white kids, which isn't an everyday sight there. I still wonder if we're in any photo albums.
Hard disagree. Kids are different, have different needs, and behave differently. Parents also have a wide variety of support structures around them, which also has a huge impact on how difficult raising kids is.
There are people who will struggle to be good parent regardless of other factors, but that is not the only reason raising kids might be hard. I'm glad you haven't had some of the struggles other people have, but you sound like the guy born on third who thought he got a home run.
Well this is a horrifying thread to read 3 months away from our first making an appearance
Its all true. The bags under the eyes. The stress. The moving your life into the closet. The rationing of self-care.
But the important thing is, it's still the greatest joy. Babies take everything from you, and demand more, but its still a fucking bargain.
Edit - also congratulations and good luck!
It’s all worth it, don’t worry. Congratulations!
basically, the parents who are fulfilled with their kids, versus the ones who probably needed a 1 year course on how to parent before being granted the privilege to have a child.
I say this, as a parent.
I'm not planning to have kids. In fact I have a Dr. appointment today for a vasectomy referral. But if such a class were offered I would 100% take it before having a kid.
I resent your implication that just because I have a great relationship with my kid and I find my family relationships fulfilling that I must know wtf I'm doing.
Christ this is dark. I'm not a parent and I feel like this.
The Internet used to be such a neat place. Why is it so shit ever since like 2020? Or is that just the whole world? Since 2017 maybe.
I had a thought yesterday: it sucks that after you die, you can't come back. AND that time just keeps flowing for everybody else after you're gone. What a great gift to be alive, at all, though. Why do some people feel the need to make it as shitty as possible for others?
Whenever someone tells me about their kids I’m like, I’m happy for you, but have you seen literally anything humanity has done for the last half century?
When I was starting high school and going through registration with my mom, we were standing in line behind another kid and his mom that I knew pretty well from middle school.
My mom starts talking to his mom about how she now has one child each in elementary, middle school, and high school this year, and it's going to be overwhelming.
What my mom didn't know is that she was talking to the mom of a legendary family of like seven kids. The guy I went to school with was the second youngest of the bunch. In elementary school, one of his older brothers stopped by the class and talked about his time in boot camp. We had middle aged teachers who had gone to school with his older siblings. My mom did not pick her battle well on that one.
I am childfree 33, childfree both by choice and by economic circumstances. I have a intense aversion towards baby's, doesn't mean others shouldn't get them. I used to think that instead of having kids, I could just be the cool uncle that babysits sometime. Turns out I really dislike babys. So, probably should never get my own.
Sometimes I get tempted by the wish, but then I am reminder that I prefer the risk of regretting not having children, then risking regretting having children. And while I do subscribe to the anti-natalist worldview, that only should dictate my actions, not those of other people.
I am very lucky to have a partner who is also childfree by choice.
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