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submitted 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) by TempermentalAnomaly@lemmy.world to c/memes@lemmy.world
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[-] fibojoly@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 day ago

I'm calling it now. An episode of South Park that does the Uvalde shooting, but instead of shooting, it's a gigantic dildo being paraded through classrooms or something. Everything played straight, but no killing, just kids hiding terrified behind tables, and a selfless teacher sacrificing herself when faced with a giant silicone dong, etc.

[-] IzzyJ@lemmy.world 1 points 23 hours ago* (last edited 23 hours ago)

My principle threatened to hold back every single one of us if even one fid a senior prank. There was none. I transitioned since and kinda wanna find my principle on Facebook just to act like I pranked him

[-] Haaveilija@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago
[-] Treczoks@lemmy.world 6 points 1 day ago

I like that idea. It is not yet on the ever-growing list if forbidden pranks.

[-] danekrae@lemmy.world 138 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Just put a traffic cone on it. It's apparently much worse for american children to see a model of the male anatomy, than metal detectors, armed teachers and drilling school shootings.

[-] FenrirIII@lemmy.world 31 points 2 days ago

Puritan values at work

[-] ronl2k@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago

Just saw off the top part of it so it's no longer seen as a dildo. No need for a lockdown.

For real.

Grab a saw from the groundskeeper, hack it off as close to the floor as possible. Put a traffic cone on the stub.

10 minutes work tops.

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[-] RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world 40 points 2 days ago

It’s silicone or whatever material? Slice it off at the bottom and put a “wet floor” cone over the remains so people don’t trip? No need to lock down the school over a funny prank.

[-] frustrated_phagocytosis@fedia.io 67 points 2 days ago

Dear God that is an expensive prank! The prices on those are insane.

[-] daggermoon@lemmy.world 18 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

I like that you know the price of a 3-foot dildo.

Edit: I looked it up out of curiosity. It's 1,035 CAD. You wasn't kidding.

[-] kreskin@lemmy.world 17 points 1 day ago

Heres a 2 footer (well, 60 cm, close) on aliexpress for $33.32 USD. (without shipping) https://www.aliexpress.us/item/3256806204843239.html

So you can get 30 of these instead of a single 3 footer. Seems like a better deal to me.

[-] daggermoon@lemmy.world 9 points 1 day ago

It don't got the girth though.

Common knowledge, really.

[-] notoftenthat@sh.itjust.works 35 points 2 days ago

There's some great bargains on Facebook Marketplace

[-] spankinspinach@sh.itjust.works 28 points 2 days ago

I don't... I don't think we want youths buying those used

[-] toynbee@lemmy.world 15 points 2 days ago

To a lesser extent, I don't think we want anyone else doing so, either.

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[-] JoMiran@lemmy.ml 59 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

That is a very expensive prank.

Edit: Also...I wonder which of those two took it home.

[-] rolypolyman@lemmy.world 59 points 2 days ago

Principal Victoria says she's taking it in as evidence.

[-] PrimeMinisterKeyes@leminal.space 3 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

"It is imperative that the dildo remains unharmed." she told the janitor removing it.

[-] HowAbt2day@futurology.today 35 points 2 days ago

Did she say “evidence” or “every inch”?

[-] JoMiran@lemmy.ml 45 points 2 days ago

Well...taking it in as far as she can.

[-] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 15 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Dildo like that is what, $200? Lube, $5-10. Cost to lock down the school for an hour, a few thousand dollars. I agree, It’s funny that they didn’t just cut off the base. Would have taken like 5 minutes, including the walk to get the scissors or knife. Someone wanted to keep that monster for themselves

[-] JoMiran@lemmy.ml 25 points 2 days ago

Dildo like that is what, $200?

The cheapest I found was on Amazon and it was.on sale.for $599.

[-] parody@lemmings.world 21 points 2 days ago

Wikipedia reports this Ohio school enrolled 1837 students in the 2023 school year, making the senior class size approximately 459 students.

If every single one of them thought this would be funny, they could each chip in ~$1.31.

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[-] shneancy@lemmy.world 26 points 2 days ago

lube is pretty easy to clean off with just water. i'd have used oil, so that whoever tried to remove it would have to get ready with a bucket of soapy water and then had to rub it up and down

[-] RubberElectrons@lemmy.world 6 points 2 days ago

Someone hasn't tried silicone lube before..

[-] StopSpazzing@lemmy.world 8 points 2 days ago

Silicone lube on a silicone dildo would melt it, last i heard.

[-] shneancy@lemmy.world 8 points 2 days ago

it would indeed. oil wouldn't be the best for silicone long term either, but silicone lube on a silicone dildo would start melting it short term. though tbf, a yucky sticky dildo would also work as a park

[-] RubberElectrons@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago

True, but a toy this size is likely TPR for cost reasons. Totally fine with silicone oils.

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[-] guynamedzero@piefed.zeromedia.vip 31 points 2 days ago

Jesus christ that's really funny. Also God damn that school is pathetic if they didn't think of just cutting it and putting a cone over the remnants until they could properly remove it

[-] slaneesh_is_right@lemmy.org 14 points 2 days ago

Americans would rather shoot everyone who's seen it than risking anyone becoming gay

[-] fibojoly@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 day ago

Ah yes, the Grey Knights approach. Perfect.

[-] manchicken@infosec.pub 7 points 2 days ago

I love this so much.

[-] bryndos@fedia.io 14 points 2 days ago

No, the school had to admit to a massive cockup.

[-] hOrni@lemmy.world 7 points 2 days ago

Why does a 3 foot dildo even exist?

[-] CaptainBlagbird@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago

It's probably XR Brands Moby the Giant Dick. It's quite expensive and basically sold as "decoration"... I think it the actual reason it exists is, so that they can call it "world's largest dildo".

[-] ynthrepic@lemmy.world 8 points 1 day ago

You'd be surprised the challenges some deeply inspired creators do for views.

I was linked on an R18 sub at one point. Someone else asked (for a friend of course) and I had a look (strictly for science of course). And yeah... Even in the front end. Maybe not 3 feet (that's strictly reserved for the back end) but... Wow. Surely it isn't worth it. Maybe it feels good? The science continues.

[-] sudo@lemmy.today 19 points 2 days ago

Ask your mom

[-] lengau@midwest.social 7 points 2 days ago
[-] CaptainBlagbird@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago

Quite an expensive prank, that thing costs $1400...

[-] lengau@midwest.social 2 points 1 day ago

Shows their commitment to the bit.

[-] notoftenthat@sh.itjust.works 8 points 2 days ago

Sweet summer child... bless your heart.

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this post was submitted on 04 Oct 2025
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