It sounds like your fellow wagies have been conditioned to shun anything that smells even a little "socialist". Paternity leave not only smells like communism, but also wokeism by daring to suggest that the man of the house should maybe share the responsibility of taking care of their baby.

You are bravely doing the radical feminist work of daring to care for your wife who is likely going to have trouble with either holding her bladder (if she squeezed your new family member out through her pelvis) or with standing up and holding your baby (if she got a c-section). How do you feel knowing most of your coworkers wouldn't do this for their wife?

Aside from the obvious fact that you should ne there for your partner and child, paternity leave is both economically sound for your employer and the economy as a whole.

It will mean a healthier child with better relationships to his parents. This will improve his/her performance in school, reduce the likelyhood of problematic behaviour requiring interventions and later the likelyhood of criminal activity.

So your child will likely be a more productive and reliable grown up eventually and you will have less stress as parents, which also improves your productivity.

I am not a parent but I think paternity leave is essential. Your wife is doing to need a lot of help and it's just as important for you to bond with your baby as her.

Lol, here in Norway 2 months ish paternity leave is mandatory

The mom guys back to work for that period, leaving you alone with the kid, but if they breastfeed you kinda have to stop by the office once a day for snacks...

I did that for 6 months, which is pretty much the max. I enjoyed the hell out of it, you connect way more to your kid honestly.

I got 100% of my pay. (Government gets you to a certain level, and then most companies covers the rest)

You are not missing something, they are.

The first couple of years are the most important for a child's development. The more you can be there for your kid, the better. And sharing the load of child rearing will increase the bond between you and your spouse. It's disgusting to see American men reduce "supporting the family" to just bringing home money. Your family needs so much more than that!

I applaud you for taking paternity leave. Most of the criticism towards you is probably a mixture of ignorance and jealously. Take your 12 weeks and come back with a smile on your face and brag how awesome that time was - because it will be.

For comparison: I live in Austria, childcare leave can last from a year to two years and parents can split it 18mo/6mo for instance. Add to that 8 weeks of mandatory "birth time protection" before and after the predicted birth date where mothers aren't allowed to work by law but receive full salary. I WISH my wife and I could have split our maternity/paternity leave but it didn't work out financially back then.

I think it’s an important time and should be available to any working American without exception. When my first child was born, I remember asking HR about paternity leave and their deadpan response was “how many vacation days do you have?” Disgusting.

I scheduled two weeks off for the birth of my first child. Not paternity leave, just vacation time. My wife became a SAHM a few months before. I was bored and went back to work after 1 week. I couldn't imagine 12 weeks.

The kid is just not doing that much. Feed, poop, change, sleep. And the child doesn't recognize you at that stage. It's all stimulus response. If he was crying and I picked him up, he didn't care. I got zero emotional reward for the interaction with the child. Emotional bonding all happened around 3 months old and beyond. Before that the benefit was more in the shared experience with my wife of learning how to take care of a newborn. But really, it's not that hard, and after one week it was old hat.

I support paternity leave and would like to see it normalized.

Like mat leave I don’t really think about it, to me it’s just assumed

From Portugal, here.

Take that time, enjoy it and cherish it. It's your family and that time will be an ever lasting memory for all of you.

In Sweden, we have 16 months of parental that can be split between parents.

Nurses do house check-ups for the first few months and it's great for both parents to ask questions and get advice.

These guys who have the option but decline caring for thier family sound like shitty partners/dad's

I had both my kids before this existed. I would have killed to have 12 weeks paid off to be with my new family. Getting exactly zero days off when you are a new dad SUCKS.

I also had 12 weeks of paternity, but I split mine up. I took 6 weeks (which I feel like was the minimum I should have) at birth to care for the kids and for mama. I split up the other 6 weeks over 2 weeks breaks at different times. It is so important to have dedicated time to bond and care for your child. My relationship with my daughter is amazing and it started so early because I was able to be there and care for her early on. It's weird that in the past people didn't have the opportunity to be there and bond with their children. Why should work ever be more important than your own blood. "Supporting" your family by working vs taking paternity leave and also spending time with your kid is a no brainer. I think some people just think work is the most important part of their life. Work is what makes you money to live your life. Don't forget to live.

I feel like I’m missing something.

No, they are lol. Wth is wrong with them?

All countries should give one year of paternity leave. I do believe though there needs to be a cool down period of a year and a half because then you would have people that just have five in a row taking advantage.

I enjoyed my time with our newborn, but it's no vacation. I took 4.5 months of paternity leave in a row.

Sweden is pretty generous with parental leave. Me and the Mrs get 480 days to share between us. 390 of which are at some 80% of our salary. The other 90 days pay peanuts, but great to have when you need some time off to get started with preschool and stuff. You have 90 days earmarked for yourself that can't be transferred to the other parent.

At 5 days a week those 480 days last two years.

Congrats on the kid! You sound like you'll be a much better dad than your coworkers.

I had 6 weeks as that was what my employer allowed. I didn't take it all at once, 4 weeks and 2 weeks later. I found that she needed help more during teething and sleep regression so it might be good to split it up if you can, also helps you keep on top of work.

But would say it's important to ask what she feels she needs. I wouldn't worry about your employer. Also, with the lack of sleep during those first few weeks, I can't imagine anyone is productive at work.

I took as much time as I was allowed to and wished I got more.

But I've also seen many others take far far less time than they could have and it never made any sense to me.

I just got back from my paternity leave and wish it could have gone on longer. Raising a child in the first few months is like nothing else, and you don't get that time back.

Clearly you're missing some huge hairy balls, what type of man takes time off work to be with their family!?

(/s if it wasn't obvious)

It's valuable time. It's as important as maternity leave. Take it.

It seems pretty normalized and expected in the tech company I’m at. I’ll be taking four months or so in August.

Your coworkers are stupid, shitty fathers. Go be with your kid.

My company does 16 weeks of fully paid paternity. I'm taking 9 weeks at the beginning and breaking up the rest over the year to help with this or that.

I am a little concerned as to what my job will look like when I get back especially with the political climate. But at the end of the day that isn't what is most inorganic to me. My family is.

My son’s a teenager now, but the three months I spent at home with him and my wife after his birth were some of the most incredibly enlightening, rewarding and exhausting days of my life. I’d encourage every parent to spend as much time with their newborn as possible — if not for yourself and for your child, then for your spouse. All three of you will be learning a whole new way of life, and it’s great that you’ll be able to experience and shape it together.

I just got back from effectively 17 weeks of paternity leave- my company provides 12 weeks (or they did last year when I started, it's now only 8), and then I had 5 weeks of PTO, sick time, and floating holidays.

Take all the time you have. Easily the best decision I've made for the past few years. Not only does it remove the "did I get enough sleep during the night" stress, but the time I spent with our new child was amazing.

I'm an software engineering lead for a team of 8, they did fine without me. The boat's still floating, as it were.

I don't intend to get kids but my coworkers have them once in a while.

I think you should have some. I don't think it should be a matter of pride to not take any.

I'm not a father and I never intend to be one, and I think it's great that you're taking paternity leave.

I'm about to start my 12 week paternity leave next week thanks to a state program and almost everyone that I've told has had their jaws on the floor that I would even want to do that.

That's actually getting close to the amount some of the worse countries in Europe give.

To me it was a no brainer, I'm getting ~85% of my normal pay and I get to take care of my wife, our son and our newborn for 3 whole months

The only reason I could see not to do that is if that 15% would leave finances so tight you couldn't turn on the heating. But as you probably spend more that that on comminuting absolutely no brainer.

My company in the UK only gives 2 weeks paternity so most guys save and use all their holiday for the year to bring their total time off to 9 weeks.

I absolutely love that you're doing this and I think paid leave for this, child and family care up to 30 weeks should be easily doable, as well as quality education and quality affordable health care and quality, affordable food, housing, clothing and utilities. Livable wages too.

In the deceptively simple, yet seemingly complex social conundrum, you're practically insulting two or several of their generations.

You see, their daddy and granddaddy before them didn't need no paternity leave and their kids (as in themselves) turned out to be just fine! Now here you are coddling and spoiling your children rotten, proving everything wrong with the newer generations!

How can a man provide food on the table, a roof over their heads and clothes on their backs by sitting at home and playing with their kids? Unthinkable! Unconscionable! Un-American!

Or so a theory goes...

I was really close to my dad and I LOOOOVEEE that you're doing this. You're showing your child and the world that dad should take an equal share, especially post birth when mum is likely to need additional support. Your post is nothing short of inspirational!

I love my wife and kid, but I was ready to get outta the house after two weeks and go back to work