It's like I don't give a crap about anything or anyone

Well, there you go. This is most likely the culprit, and it is something one can train. If caring does not come readily, you’ll have to train it, just like reading, writing and other human skills.

Good luck.

I started to feel a little better and like i understand myself a little better after watching some videos from here : https://www.youtube.com/@OurTimelessWisdom/videos

specifically the ones featuring carl jung, havent watched others yet

https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/how-to-survive-midlife-blues

Depending on how old you are, you might just be hitting the normal midlife low point. It hit me hard in my late 30s and I spent a lot of time reading about it once I found out it was typical. I think a lot of it has to do with the rate at which you're experiencing milestones and life changes. It feels like you are constantly progressing in your life up to your 20s or 30s and then the time scale suddenly shifts. Things take much longer to advance - saving enough for a house or retirement, that next promotion (assuming you even want one), major family changes, etc.

Understanding that helped me recover somewhat, though it still took a couple of years. I'm still in that lull, trying to figure out what I really even want to do next, but I don't feel sad about it anymore. I don't know if this applies to your situation, but I found it really helpful to learn about it.

How’s your anxiety level? Depression and anxiety are linked pretty closely and with you mentioning the expense of things that sticks out to me you might have other issues.

It sounds like a mental health evaluation would benefit you, honestly. I would not want to be alive today if not for medication.

I still don’t feel like doing anything or being with anyone but I don’t feel worthless.

I hope you can find something that helps

Could it be depression?

Anyways, would you be able to recall at the end of the day something nice that happened to you, even if small? Gratefulness is my personal path to inner peace doesn't matter if big or small. And even if you decide to not take this path, you can use the memory of that good moment to 1 make it happen more often, or 2 invest your time/thoughts to make it even better next time it happens or 3 follow up and build on top of it.

I feel you, I get like this sometimes as well, it's what we call "getting in a rut". When I become self-aware of the situation, I just treat myself to something, could be a new keyboard, or PC part, or maybe it's just going out with friends for a few drinks.

This tends to at least put me on the path to climbing my way back out of it

Okay. Hear me out.

Minecraft and cough syrup.

so you lack enthusiasm and ideas huh

you need to find a spark, something that drives you and makes lost in the moment

explore your likes, interests, values. Go from there. I know you said you don't care, but your lack of care and enthusiasm is your current jailor so perhaps start working on the keys

Figure out what feels the most rewarding, and spend more time doing that. Learning a musical instrument, making art, or whatever else. Also, maybe get a pet.

Get a dog and pamper it.

If we end capitalism then human life has intrinsic value again instead of a sticker price

Edit: most important part. Yes, there is a way. I am in no position to claim to know what is going to help you, but I do know this: there is another way to live. Following is what I have tried and it worked

Been around there, it really is not a good place. Time to look inside. You only have so much time left to live, and only so much energy to do things. As to what can be done, then if possible, take a good break: quit job, buy food, then just stay home. No books, no TV, no speaking to anyone, no internet, no games, no nothing. Your mind will go wild for some time, but then you will recover and see life with more clarity

And for the big picture - look inside. If you were to die today, what would you do? Whom would you speak to one last time? Where would you go if distance was not an issue? What do you want to be done with your dead body? (If the answer is "nothing, I don't care", I would strongly suggest go see a doctor. Depression does not just go away)

Also, remember this every day: tomorrow morning, you may not wake up. Today you woke up, but a day will come when you don't. Remind this to yourself. Slowly this will change your perspective

If you happen to feel like talking - message or ping me, I will answer as fast as I can

I'm like an atheist monk.

you might be having SzPD. I'm not saying that but you might think about it.

I don't want to travel because it costs money.

I don't spend much money on clothing or media and save most of my paycheck.

then why don't you use some of those to travel? There are ways to travel less expensively. I had a phase like this when I was a college kid and I saved up the small scholarship (much less than an actual job) and travelled, which did something that depression meds couldn't do then. ymmv though.

Holy shit......if you were a woman you'd be wife material.

Sounds like you are dealing with an existential issue. Personally I've dealt with this by learning and teaching others, through this I feel I have found purpose. I also find it through political activism and volunteer work. There is nothing as fulfilling as helping others just because you want to and can.

Gym, Meditate, Therapy, Volunteer, Meetup, Hobbies. Any combination of these, at least 2.

Accumulating money doesn't count as character building nor living. Spend money wisely, but do spend it. Wisely is subjective, but see above for what I think that means in this context. Good luck.

Edit: wording.

Books, podcasts, niche youtubers, video games. Jusy keep trying different subjects until you find something that interests you. Learning is usually a draw for a lot of people. You could also try volunteering in some way. Maybe that will be more fulfilling.

Is there anything that you would like to do, any bucket list items etc?