We hired a receptionist who didn’t know how to use a computer. Couldn’t type or even use a mouse. This was at a small tech company maybe 20 years ago and she was 20 something at the time. She interviewed normally and I guess someone else wrote her resume. I don’t know if she thought she would just figure it out on the job? We did skills and typing tests after that.

On his first day, he came on to one of the women I worked with very aggressively and shortly after told another to "bring me a cup of tea, quickly" while on the way to a meeting.

He was escorted off the premises by several other members of staff a few hours into the day once all of his system access had been revoked.

I'm sad to say this, because I know what a bad rap this field gets already and I know so many lovely people who are part of it.... But, they worked in InfoSec.

We hired a person who lived hours away from our office. To save on hotel, he had the bright idea to spend his first work-week nights at a non-stop bar (open 24h/7). He showed up still drunk on his second day. We let him go on day 2.

I got fired before my first day. Well kind of.

So I was in college at this time and I had applied for and got hired at McDonald's. I had previous experience working at McDonald's in a different town. Not sure exactly what position it was anymore but something something lead I think. Anywho at the end of the 'your hired' talk the manager that did the hiring told me that the Christmas party was like that weekend and I should really show up to meet everybody. So despite not working a single day I show up for the Christmas party.

Well, her boss (the boss of the person who hired me) saw me and determined my hair was too long for a guy and fired me. He basically said that boys were to have essentially a 1950s men's haircuts if they were going to work for him... At McDonald's. I don't remember the specific words but I remember getting the vibe that he was very homophobic and that he thought long hair was somehow gay. So I was given the ultimatum of getting a proper men's haircut or I could be done. And despite not being gay myself I didn't want to work for some dude who just oozed homophobia, so I peaced out and told everyone I could at the manager of that McDonald's was a homophobic piece of shit.

For those wondering how long was my hair... It just barely touched the collar of my shirt, if it even touched. You know the 'broke college student who can't afford or remember when the last haircut was' look.

A week or so in Flipkart, 2 new trainees were caught kissing on the top office floor. Fired at spot.

Well, I passed out at a warehouse because my supervisor wouldn't let me go for a water break in 100+ degree weather, and I got fired for "loafing."

Does that count?

I once quit on the first day of a job.

I had previously worked with industrial robots and automation. Fixing them, calibrating them, making hardware and software adjustments as needed.

I was between jobs and found a small business that seemed like it was looking to do some automation expansion. The interview was a little weird because they were kind of vague with specifics. That’s not entirely abnormal with companies that have proprietary processes or automation, though I felt they were being a little bit overly cagey.

They wouldn’t take me into the clean room, which again isn’t unheard of, if in my opinion a little overly protective.

My previous job had been partially titled “Maintenance” (as in I maintained the robots) and the small company asked quite a lot about my versatility in maintaining things. I think that makes sense for a small company to want one person do all things for a robot.

I get a call that I’m hired. On paper the job looks good. Pay is a little low but this was an in-between job.

I show up for the first day of work and one of the first things I have to sign is a 15 page front and back Non Disclosure Agreement. That’s an insane length. My previous job with a huge, established tech company was a two page NDA and they actually had a lot of different processes.

So, I sign their crazy NDA and I’m taken into the airquotes “clean room”. First thing I notice is that I’m not suiting up or even putting on a white room style jacket. I see a cup of coffee on a “clean room” work bench. This is not a clean room.

I’m walked through and out of the “clean room” and to the outside back of the building and shown some air conditioner units. Told I need to work on those to fix them, and then later in the week I’ll be cutting the grass.

Lol.

No.

I left at lunch.