You might've moved around too quickly. Stick to motion in the home row to start - hjkl. There are several ways to enter insert mode but DO NOT attempt it before she's familiar with the basic motions.

Deep down, every Vim user just wants one person to tell them that the countless hours they spent leaning to use it weren't a total waste of time.

:q!

My wife's impressed though, may be a little...

But she's also a programmer.

Maybe your wife is either VSCode or Atom gang

Have you tried rebooting her?

I'm sorry, you need to :s/replace/her/ as soon as possible.

DIVORCE