First of all: I'm posting this from my .ml alt. Because i can not do it from my .world main. That i can't do it, i found out just because i was waiting for a response on a comment where is was sure that the OP would respond. After searching, i found out that my comment and my DM's never where federated to .ml.

So, that said: I'm all for defederating bad instances, i'm all for separation where it makes sense. BUT:

• If an instance is listed on join-lemmy, this should work as the normal user would expect
• We are not ready for this yet. We are missing features (more details below)
• Even instances that officialy require applications, can be spam instances (admins can do what ever they want), so we would need protection against this anyways. Hell, one could just implement spam bots that talk directly federation protocol, and wouldn't even need lemmy for this ...

Minimal features we need:

• Show users that the community they try to interact with is on a server that defederated the users instance
• Forbid sending DM's to servers that are not fully federated

Currently, all we do is: Make lemmy look broken

And before someone starts with: "Then help!", i do. I do in my field of expertice. I'm a PostgreSQL Professional. So i have build a setup to messure the lemmy SQL performance, usage patterns, and will contribute everything i can to make lemmy better.

(I tried rust, but i'm to much C++ guy to bring something usefull to the table beyond database stuff, sry :( )