How does anyone believe in monogamy nowadays? (lemm.ee)

submitted 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by DudePluto@lemm.ee to c/casualconversation@lemmy.world

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Not talking about being with one partner at a time. Talking about the idea of finding "the one" and being with them your whole life.

50% divorce rate. 97% of people (in the US) don't wait till marriage, so most of us have multiple sexual partners prior to the one we stick with. Many have children with more than one partner.

How can anyone look at the world and think, yeah, there's one that's meant for everyone and just one?

Also hope I don't come across disrespectful. If you do believe in monogamy, I am interested in hearing from you. I'm just buzzed and thinking about my own love life and being curt

Edit: Speaking to the idea that it's the "natural order" or default. Not that it can't work in individual circumstances, especially when we've been programmed for decades

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[-] DudePluto@lemm.ee 7 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Oh the definition is fine, I just mean that it seems illogical to adhere to it dogmatically.

Like, ok I'll try to come up with the best summation but bear with me lol. Basically, let's say you're with your current partner. You've been into other people in the past. So, logically, you'll probably be into other people - at some level - in the future, right? That seems like a natural development to me.

So if it's natural, why should we have the little fine print on all of our relationships that reads "If you're into other people this contract is null and void?"

Am I making sense? Lol. Like I just mean that it's natural to be attracted, in some way, to more than one person so why do we default to holding ourselves and our partners to the unnatural? In that way, I'm monogamous with one person at a time seems logically inconsistent to me. It accepts the existence of plurality of attraction, yet denies its engagement

[-] richieadler@lemmy.myserv.one 18 points 1 year ago

the little fine print on all of our relationships that reads "If you're into other people this contract is null and void?"

How do you define "being into them"? Looking and finding them attractive, or fucking them without your partner knowing?

[-] DudePluto@lemm.ee 5 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Being into them is being attracted to them which, on an instinctual level, is wanting to fuck them

Edit: simplified, obviously, you can be attracted to someone in a more emotional way but some would argue that's still wanting to partner with them in some way

[-] Rocinante@lemmy.one 9 points 1 year ago

I'm confused. Are you saying people who are monogamous aren't allowed to be attracted to other people by your definition? Or are you saying why are people choosing to be monogamous over having multiple partners at the same time?

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this post was submitted on 29 Aug 2023

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