Anon Goes to College : greentext

[-] SexualPolytope@lemmy.sdf.org 212 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Anon thinks speaking and writing in a language is all there is to do in a bachelor's degree. You literally have to read thousands of pages of literature, and need to be able to analyze those pieces critically.

Guys, is lying allowed on the Internet? I'm starting to think that Anon never even set foot in a college.

[-] Diplomjodler@feddit.de 87 points 1 year ago

Uses 4chan

"Drowning in pussy"

Yeah, checks out.

[-] javasux@lemmy.world 150 points 1 year ago

Yeah but now all you have is a degree in Italian

[-] Decoy321@lemmy.world 96 points 1 year ago

I mean, they still spent all that money to just be a language major for a teaching job on another continent.

[-] tacosanonymous@lemm.ee 29 points 1 year ago

Makes me wish it was true.

[-] ivanafterall@kbin.social 39 points 1 year ago

I don't think they allow lying on 4chan?

[-] Decoy321@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago

naaaah

[-] can@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.

Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

Right at the top of the page.

[-] Serinus@lemmy.world 8 points 1 year ago

That part is a lie.

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[-] pokemaster787@ani.social 4 points 1 year ago

Green text probably isn't true but I did have a German professor born and raised in Germany with a Master's in "Conversational German" so it's definitely not impossible.

[-] uberrice@feddit.de 4 points 1 year ago

If its a German degree - Germanistik is different from just German courses. It's more about German literature - how the language evolved, why things are the way they are, analyzing uses of language and so on.

Not really a useful degree, but a degree you need to put work in nonetheless

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[-] Narrrz@kbin.social 91 points 1 year ago

I'm a native English speaker with an English teacher for a parent and i didn't even pass highschool English.

[-] Shard@lemmy.world 31 points 1 year ago

My condolences

[-] Narrrz@kbin.social 46 points 1 year ago

condo-what now

[-] tigeruppercut@lemmy.zip 5 points 1 year ago

That's unpossible!

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[-] Squirrel@thelemmy.club 65 points 1 year ago

Got a degree by taking only Italian language courses. Sure.

[-] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 53 points 1 year ago

Too retarded to study anything, but learned to speak perfect American English with no discernible accent?

[-] schema@lemmy.world 34 points 1 year ago

I'd imagine there is also a lot more to a language BA than just being able to perfectly speak it, but I don't really know.

[-] Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works 21 points 1 year ago

Yes there's going to be a literature component and probably history and politics, although OP's Italian equivalent of high school might have prepared him for those somewhat.

[-] PunnyName@lemmy.world 11 points 1 year ago

Maybe all they did was watch American TV.

[-] zuhayr@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago

Or American Pie?

[-] bobs_monkey@lemm.ee 3 points 1 year ago

Drove his Chevy to the levee but the levee was dry

[-] bane_killgrind@kbin.social 5 points 1 year ago

I can pick out regional North American accents, if he had any American peers I bet there were suspicions.

[-] Nepenthe@kbin.social 11 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Not that this happened, but there absolutely would have been at least one suspicion. Nobody doesn't have an accent of some sort, and he'd have no way of knowing how accurate his pronunciation is all the way from Italy among other Italians. Everyone thinks they sound good til they hear themselves on a recording. His only way out would be to say his family is italian-american but he doesn't know the language very well. He might think of that. He's also on 4chan, though.

However, Americans are highly curious about others as a rule and the women reportedly thought he was at least ok, so someone would have asked where he was from regardless of what he sounded like. And then he would have been stuck playing 20 questions about a randomly chosen region he isn't familiar with and hoping to god whoever he's talking to isn't from there.

[-] force@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Language has nothing to do with intelligence, why does that one bit matter? It's your environment that matters for language, there are plenty of stupid people from Europe or India or whatever who speak 2-5 languages like anyone else would... there are also plenty of Italians who are native English speakers because they grew up watching content by English-speaking people online (I know a few myself)

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[-] JJROKCZ@lemmy.world 41 points 1 year ago

Still had to know two languages well, that’s far from fuck all lol

[-] berg@lemm.ee 48 points 1 year ago

If you're born into it it's pretty much fuck all tbh.

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[-] Unaware7013@kbin.social 39 points 1 year ago

Yeah, bet that went as well as all the Hispanic kids in high school taking Spanish as their 'easy A'... It was hilarious when they realized their easy A course turned out to be their hardest one because they didn't speak the particular dialect being taught and had to relearn their language to pass.

[-] lorty@lemmy.ml 36 points 1 year ago

This person is not only lying their ass off, but made clear they don't even speak a second language. Just because you learned colloquial italian or whatever doesn't mean you actually know a single gramatical rule, or better yet, how that language is written in formal texts, documents etc.

[-] sanpedropeddler@sh.itjust.works 8 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I know how English is written in formal documents. I don't know in depth grammar but in general I wouldn't need to. I just say what sounds correct. Why would an Italian person be unable to do the same?

edit: To be clear I'm not saying he isn't lying. He definitely is.

[-] pastermil@sh.itjust.works 9 points 1 year ago

He's lying but not because of his language ability.

Nobody writing greentext drowns in pussy.

[-] echodot@feddit.uk 16 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Can you have a degree in a language course? Like I get you can minor in languages, but can you major in it? Also what's his minor going to be if it is possible to major in a language course.

I'm not even American and I can see that this story is made up BS.

[-] June@lemm.ee 13 points 1 year ago

You can solely major in a language.

University if Washington’s offerings for Asian languages are included here: https://www.washington.edu/students/gencat/program/S/AsianLanguagesandLiterature-144.html

English: https://www.washington.edu/students/gencat/program/S/English-136.html

Finnish, Danish, Norwegian, Swedish and others: https://www.washington.edu/students/gencat/program/S/ScandinavianStudies-281.html

And there are more like German, near eastern languages, Spanish, and Slavic languages.

If you want an example of Italian, go to Santa Clara University: https://www.scu.edu/cas/modernlanguages/academic-programs/italian/

Or Uc Davis: https://www.ucdavis.edu/majors/italian

Or ASU: https://degrees.apps.asu.edu/bachelors/major/ASU00/LAITABA/italian?init=false&nopassive=true

You really shouldn’t underestimate what you can major in in college. If you’re interested in it, there’s probably a program for it somewhere, or a college with enough classes that you can build a program for it.

[-] aebrer@kbin.social 5 points 1 year ago

Mamma mia!

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[-] Amends1782@lemmy.ca 4 points 1 year ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

[removed by mod]

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