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Ghost Them (lemmy.dbzer0.com)
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[-] toynbee@lemmy.world 61 points 2 weeks ago

Not that anyone really sought out my number or that I solicited one from someone I didn't know well, but when I was dating, rejection hotlines were popular.

[-] A_norny_mousse@feddit.org 23 points 2 weeks ago

I also saw mentioned once or twice that there was a special drink you could order that basically meant "help, I don't feel safe with this guy". Was/Is that widespread, too?

[-] toynbee@lemmy.world 27 points 2 weeks ago

I think that's location dependent.

I've also read about hand signals and other covert ways of communicating. They might be worth trying in a desperate situation, but it seems unwise to rely on them except as a last resort.

The problem that I see with trying to create subtle but universal signals is that if everyone knows them, they're now just overt messages.

However, almost all of my dating has been (or at least started) online and I've never been the subject of a creepy guy's attention, so I can't speak with authority on the topic.

[-] prole 7 points 2 weeks ago
[-] toynbee@lemmy.world 3 points 2 weeks ago

Yeah - I think that's the hand signal I read about. I'm glad the woman in question was able to get help.

[-] A_norny_mousse@feddit.org 6 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

The problem that I see with trying to create subtle but universal signals is that if everyone knows them, they’re now just overt messages.

Well I assumed it's a different drink in every bar. And advertised in the women's toilet.

edit: Sorry, bathroom

[-] Cevilia 4 points 2 weeks ago

You're right. If they're doing it right, bars won't suggest "angel shots" any more, because abusers recognise that signal too. They'll have their own signals posted on the wall in the women's toilets. The simplest one I've seen is one of those remote doorbell thingies in one cubicle, the idea being you lock yourself in the cubicle, ring the bell, and don't open the door until the bouncer arrives.

[-] toynbee@lemmy.world 2 points 2 weeks ago

That seems plausible.

[-] moody@lemmings.world 11 points 2 weeks ago

Some bars will have that, typically it'll be on a poster in the ladies room.

I don't think there's a universal one, but each bar would have their own.

[-] A_norny_mousse@feddit.org 6 points 2 weeks ago

It's the result of a (partly) dangerous society, but somehow so cool. I've never seen anything like it but then I don't go to the ladies' room. Hm. Have to ask my IRL friends.

[-] brygphilomena@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 2 weeks ago

Angel shot was the common one I knew about.

[-] starman2112@sh.itjust.works 5 points 2 weeks ago

Angel shot. It's widespread but not universal

this post was submitted on 26 Sep 2025
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