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Anon thinks it's too late (sh.itjust.works)
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[-] balderdash9@lemmy.zip 99 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

I can't imagine growing up with social media. Probably not good for development.

[-] shneancy@lemmy.world 53 points 1 week ago

i grew up during the wild internet days

saw one man one jar, two girls one cup, smile HD, happy tree friends, and incredibly graphic gore when i was at the ripe old age of 12

considering the circumstances i think i turned out fine, well, as fine as a person with empathy can be in this hellscape

[-] lostmypasswordanew@feddit.org 63 points 1 week ago

Yes, but that was still before social media. As weird as it sounds, social media is probably more damaging than the early oughts shock sites

[-] MY_ANUS_IS_BLEEDING@lemm.ee 11 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Yeah social media just adds so much undue mental pressure, especially the non-anonymous ones.

People are constantly seeing perfectly filtered and perfectly arranged photos of influencers apparently enjoying the perfect life and then comparing their own reality and feeling inadequate.

The FOMO pressure to be always available and seek validation via DMs, comments and likes.

The bombardment of political slop and seeing the opinions of every single fucker in the world and a few million bots about some mundane shit is bad for your mood.

Sending and receiving Goatse was just a tiny bit of fun in comparison.

[-] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 6 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

They killed the pro-ana site but replaced it with the mass normalization of lesser body image issues. Replaced stormfront with wide sharing of fascist talking points from people who wouldn’t call themselves national socialists. They sanitized the worst aspects of the old internet, but in trying to get people hooked they took a lot of the same things they sanitized and promoted versions that were palatable to the masses. They made an Internet that feels safe in the same way painkillers do.

[-] shneancy@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago

trueee, the closest i got to social media back then was a forum for a game i liked with less than 50 regular members

[-] todd_bonzalez@lemm.ee 35 points 1 week ago

You misunderstand. That was when the Internet was good. No amount of scat or gore or violent cartoons will ever hold a candle to the crushing algorithmic power of modern, corporate social media.

Millennials like us didn't just grow up with the Internet, the Internet grew up with us too. We got to exploit bleeding edge technology to build the Internet we were using. Gen-Z and Gen Alpha are growing up on a mature but enshittified corporate social media landscape designed to exploit them for profit.

[-] shneancy@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago

i'm technically old gen z, i got the end of the wild Internet, and beginnings of enshitification, though by the time it was starting i was already off in niche corners of untouched Internet, until those spaces started to die too

[-] psud@aussie.zone 1 points 4 days ago

And goatse gave us the ability to laugh at that Micky Mouse clock

[-] idiomaddict@lemmy.world 8 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

And honestly, I was a full on adult when covid hit and I regressed. It’s got to have been awful for kids

[-] taiyang@lemmy.world 49 points 1 week ago

Aside from no friends, the rest of those things apply to a ton of 19 year olds. I don't think it's entirely Social Medias fault they have a weird expectation; even I had that as a teen and I heard my dad's generation did too.

I think it's mostly because people see movies where sex is commonplace in high school and losing your "V card" is a thing. The expectation to drive and work has also just been there since forever ago, but this current generation is even less likely to need to either. At least I know there are some non-chan places also pushing to get teens to understand those expectations aren't normal...

[-] echodot@feddit.uk 39 points 1 week ago

At 19 I had friends but other than that same.

The biggest problem with 4chan is all the users are about 12 years old but have the cynicism of a 45-year-old.

[-] metaStatic@kbin.earth 38 points 1 week ago

giving actual life advice instead of an hero on live stream? the fuck happened to the chans?

[-] OneWomanCreamTeam@sh.itjust.works 27 points 1 week ago

I mean, I didn't have a partner till I was 20, and didn't have any friends (aside from partners) till I was almost 25.

It is super discouraging, after a lot of effort and crying, I finally have a pretty satisfying social life. It's not impossible.

[-] GottaKnowYourCHKN@lemmy.world 2 points 5 days ago

I didn't have mine until I was 23. That's when I had my first kiss too. I'm also a huge lesbian. It's a bummer for sure, but definitely was NOT the end of my life.

[-] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 6 points 1 week ago

Yeah I started dating at 20. I’d always had friends but it for so much easier in my 20s to befriend people who treated me right.

Yeah it sucks. But also, anon’s advice is true. A huge step for me was getting the fuck over myself. Anon isn’t doomed but he has his work cut out for him

I don't know, I feel like anon's advice is misguided at the very least.

It assumes that OOP is more or less choosing to be this way, instead of struggling with issues outside their control, be it self-image issues, anxiety, depression, money or a myriad of other things. Depending on the particukar combination and severity, anon's situation may not change for a very long time, including forever.

I believe proper advice would focus on making them accept their situation. It's OK to have no friends or partner(s). They are not a necessity in order to live a meaningful life. Perhaps it won't be the most meaningful life possible but it is certainly possible to find meaning while feeling lonely. Though finding a job is somewhat important, especially if they live in countries without social welfare, they should focus on that for a bit.

I don't have any positive stories to share on how I overcame the issues anon is facing - considering I'm in my early 20s and have nearly all the same one's. But acceptance has helped me cope with my situation in a not unhealthy way and reduced some of the pain of loneliness and self-doubt.

[-] nifty@lemmy.world 24 points 1 week ago

For “it’s too late for me” thinking, imagine what you’d think at {your_current_age}+10. For a teenager, work on developing a skill or talent, nothing else matters. Become independent and self reliant, and don’t be a jerk to others.

[-] Flocklesscrow@lemm.ee 18 points 1 week ago

If you're a teenager, just know that your stupidass brain won't be fully developed until your early/mid 20s. So just roll with it and stop imposing arbitrary deadlines on anything.

[-] grandkaiser@lemmy.world 13 points 1 week ago

"In 20 years from now, you'd give anything to be your age again with the opportunities you have available to you right now"

[-] southsamurai@sh.itjust.works 20 points 1 week ago

Legit though, a REAL bro would offer to let them give a blowjob. To the bro. Counts as sex! You suck my dick, you are officially not a virgin! Now, go out there and kiss someone with the jizz still lingering on your lips, you horny motherfucker :)

[-] Apprehensive_Crab@lemmy.world 18 points 1 week ago

Lmao OP’s post reads like all of those posts on the self improvement subreddits

[-] Robust_Mirror@aussie.zone 12 points 1 week ago

First job and license at 21. First relationship, kiss and sex at 22.

[-] ICastFist@programming.dev 7 points 1 week ago

I was still a virgin who never kissed a girl when I was 19, not for lack of trying (being an arrogant, shortsighted asshole certainly didn't help me score). Took me another year before I had sex for the first time.

About the same for me. My solution was Accutane.

[-] TankovayaDiviziya@lemmy.world 6 points 1 week ago

Maybe Anon is neurodivergent and doesn't even realise it.

I know people who are diagnosed later in life, which explains a lot when we were growing up.

[-] Anivia@feddit.org 3 points 1 week ago

Or anon is a lazy defeatist incel

[-] atro_city@fedia.io 4 points 1 week ago
this post was submitted on 24 Oct 2024
748 points (100.0% liked)

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