A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, "This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you." The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, "Which do you want, son?" The boy takes the quarters and leaves. "What did I tell you?" said the barber. "That kid never learns!" Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream parlor. "Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?" The boy licked his cone and replied: "Because the day I take the dollar the game is over!"

Cheers rang out at Old Trafford on Tuesday after Manchester United lost 1-0 at home to Bayern Munich, knocking them out of the Champions League. Kingsley Coman scored in the 70th minute to end the three-time European Cup winners' slim chances of making it to the finals. United suffered their 12th defeat of the season in all competitions, finishing bottom of Group A and failing to even secure a place in the Europa League. Copenhagen defeated Galatasaray 1-0 and advanced to the round of 16 behind group winners Bayern.