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Selfhosted
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Did that instance have public registration? What speaks against having it for private (family) use only, as a gateway to the public instances?
Public registration has nothing to do with federation. My instance required admin approval for all new registrations. Illegal content is much more likely to come through federation than from inside.
IMHO, the few reasons to host your own instance largely disappeared with 0.19 and the risks were never worth the rewards to run a tiny instance. Things are likely to continue improving with future releases. Which is why sdf.org became my main.