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Daily Thread: TGIFriday 23 June 2023 Edition
(aussie.zone)
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this post was submitted on 22 Jun 2023
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I’ve realised a random thing about myself: I hate when people make “observations” about me and tell me. People do it a lot about my style. I guess I like to look nice, but have a fairly simple style and a clear colour palette because I don’t like to buy lots of clothes, so people often say things like, “You really like to wear X colours don’t you?”
It’s the kind of comment that isn’t a compliment so maybe I’m just defensive but it feels like a judgement or I’m being asked to explain myself and it sets me on edge. I don’t know how to respond either.
They are probably just trying to bond and show they’ve noticed but my whole life I’ve attracted unwanted attention and commentary on my appearance so it’s annoying to me. Do other people have their appearance and clothes commented on a lot? Is that just something people do? It never occurs to me to say such a thing to someone else unless I’m giving a compliment or being like, “Ooh is that a new jacket?”
I used to work in a design oriented industry and yes it was very common to comment on / receive comments on the appearance (clothing, hair, glasses, shoes etc). My last job was full of engineers and a lot of male, and nobody seems to care what you look like. My current job has a lot of female in the office and they do tend to notice more and do make comments on what each other’s wearing.
I usually just say thanks and compliment on something they wear/ have and then move on. It’s almost like “morning, how are you?” Type of small talk.
Same, i mean i dont work in design but its standard to make small talk so outfits is one subject to make small talk about ___
My brain struggles so much with small talk this is probably what it is! I will have to come up with some standard responses 🥲
That makes a lot of sense! I don’t mind commentary and discussion on clothes I guess, it’s just the way some people say it. Sometimes it feels more judgemental and I’m sensitive to it. But a favourite tactic of my bullies at high school was to “compliment” or take a tone like they were “innocently commenting on” something about what I was wearing or how I looked but they meant it as an insult 🙄 I think I just have an over sensitive anxiety response to such things now. I’ll try to get more used to it!!