Nah, fuck this lickspittle corpo speak!

"What is the purpose of this meeting and why do I need to be included?" is a perfectly polite sentence appropriate in any work environment consisting of mature and distinguished adults.

Do not enslave yourself to the machine, because the people running it will treat you like a slave.

I think "What is the purpose of this meeting and why am I being included" is almost polite as-is, but "why am I being included" sounds a little rude. Maybe "what is the purpose of this meeting and is my presence needed?" Maybe "beneficial" instead of "needed" depending on who exactly you're emailing.

I had a situation like this where I'd like to be involved in the meeting that I was requested and they thought I was required to be in. I'm a just barely above entry level employee and was told by my supervisor that I should not be attending the meetings anyhow the request is coming from project managers.

Finally get pinged in a meeting chat asking where I was and told them I was informed I should not be attending these moving forward. The project manager asked if this input came from a director that is 5 levels above me. I told them no, it came from my supervisor, if you need me, I will attend the meeting however I'm not sure if my input would be the information you are looking for.

2 months later, still getting required meeting invites but told by my supervisor to not accept it.

Meetings are the viable alternative to work. Meetings that you don't need to contribute to are even better. Take a break. Catch some zees.

The original way the first person asked was polite, if intoned gently.

The recommended response is corpospeak.

Corpospeak is never polite.

It just pretends to be.

Like a sociopath.

Tf am I doing here?

I used to work at this company where like 3 guys took care of basically everything. All but one of them, let's call him Rob, eventually left to better companies. About a month after that, my team had to deal with a pretty big issue and we were having trouble coming up with a solution so this idiot had the brilliant idea to page Rob. As if the poor guy hadn't spent the last month doing the job of 3 people who were already doing the job of a 5 people each. Rob got online, said "Why did you page me?" and immediately left before getting a response. I liked Rob.

I work on the floor in a pretty specialized role, so I can always just use the excuse of having to attend to any given machine coincidentally whenever they want to have a meeting I don't feel like attending.

None of the managers really understand what we do, so they don't challenge the excuses ever.

Eh, useless meetings are great for timesheet filler while playing Pokemon Go.

When I started my career I quickly became convinced that meetings are the opposite of work. Now a large part of my career is hosting meetings. 😬

My biggest piece of advice to junior staff is: if you're not provided an agenda prior to a meeting, your attendance is not required. RSVP with Yes if it sounds interesting/beneficial and you have the time, otherwise Nope (or Tentative) your way out of it.

The obvious caveat is if that meeting is called by someone with role power over you. In which case: as they clearly don't respect your time, it's on you to (politely) ask them to provide an agenda. It may also indirectly train them to be less shit.

Email recap never comes. Miss out on key decision points. Attend next meeting. Nothing is agreed just talk for the sake of talking. Objections disregarded. Side meeting happens without you. Key points agreed with management in your absence. You're just a cog in a giant hamster wheel. Not even the hamster. Cry at night.

#Corpo-Pro-Tips

'Do you really need me? I still have a lot on my desk and would like to get to work on it, if you don't mind.'

Never did anyone have an issue with that, including my boss.

"What is the purpose of this meeting and why do I need to be included" is a perfectly polite series of words to use. The wording matters far less than the tone of voice.

I vastly prefer clear and direct questions over the reply that sounds passive aggressive from the very beginning.

Sounds like they are talking in buzzwords.

Fluent companyspeech

Such corpo bullshit, do it the Scandinavian way, I don't think this meeting is for me, have a good meeting though. Done and done

I told my team to decline meetings they don't think they should be in. If they're really needed, they can be added - everyone is supposed to be available/reachable during the day anyway. I told them that this includes meetings that I invite them to.

There's one weekly meeting that I'm in where my only contribution is to notice when we're out of stuff to discuss but no one is wrapping up. I unmute and ask, "Ok, so can we wrap?"

I don't understand why six other people just sit there saying nothing without ending it. I've got other shit to do. Don't they?

Fluent in corporate speech 101.

Corpospeak. Never a clearer way to be sure that someone or something doesn’t give a fuck about you as a human being.

Y'all are invited to optional meetings??? Lol