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I'll start: The Stars Wars postlogy was such a disastrous cash grab that it doesn't exist in my head cannon.
This whole thing was a mess.
I think I'm still in kinda disbelief that that happened. Like, maybe don't take me too seriously, but the true sign that the world is going to shit was right there with The Force Awakens. When Star Wars devolved to a totally fluffed up cash grab that we all ate up, that was the sign that we'd lost the plot.
Bravo! You nailed it.
Thanks ha ha
What if the Jedi returned... and then were wiped out off-camera? And the Republic returns, and is blown up by a single big boom boom blast? 
What if everything is reset because Abrams bashes other people's toys together while making explosion sounds until they break? 
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George W Bush
Even the original stunk on ice! 🤣 That vision thing.
Highlander 2 was ssssssssssooooooooooooo bad.
Matrix: Resurrections
Totally unnecessary sequel to a not so great 3rd part of a great franchise.
I felt unsafe watching it the whole time.
I went in after not having watched any matrix movies in a very long time, and enjoyed it. I think people overprepared for the movie by watching all matrix movies back to back, and the movie ended up recapping the previous movies for 1/3rd of the runtime. It’s a true reboot for a new generation where you don’t need to have watched any of the previous movies. It’s enough if you just knew about them. That’s what I think.
I went in not expecting anything good of it (I think I had an intuitive hunch about exactly where it was going to come from) and ended up really enjoying it. I wouldn't really recommend it to anyone and don't think it's "good" ... but as a long time Matrix fan I feel like I could get where the film was coming from, and while watching it in the cinema, that was a unique experience.
Also, the idea of the new matrix being based not on consent to a fantasy but constantly unmet but tantalising satisfaction ... I felt that and it was a good extension to the trilogy IMO.
So true
The Starship Troopers sequels. Which don't exist, but if they did they would be awful enough to pretend they don't.
I had a terrible dream where a Sky Marshal had a full dance number.
In that vein:
Romeo and Juliet II: Friar Lawrence Strikes Again
Every home alone past 2, every terminator past 2, the latest Matrix practically apologizes for its own existence. Examples are too numerous, the entire hyperreality we exist in is built on pointless repetition and self-cannibalization.
Our world is running out of resources to turn out profit, so it had started digesting itself and feeding us its over-processed and over-produced communion, like a sleezy street-food vendor dousing their meats in spices, so we don't smell how spoiled their paska is.
That is why everything revolves around the nostalgia: it's not us who are stuck in the past, it's our culture experiencing rigor mortis, and we treat it as the final chance to see its original form, as if the chicken in our tavuk durum hasn't been rotting since yesterweek.
Less of a sequel, but all the remakes of 80s/90s classic movies are awful and do nothing but bastardize the legacy of some incredible pieces of art. The Karate Kid, Total Recall, and Point Break top the list.
Halloween.
Executives butchered what was gonna be an anthology series because they saw Michael Myers as a marketable villain. So now every film in the series has gotta be the same thing again and again with the same monster doing the same things, ad infinitum.
Now I come to think of it that's, like, pretty much the entire mainstream of the horror genre isn't it?
What about Halloween 3??
Halloween 3 is (imho) worse than Halloween, but it is better than the other sequels because it does try to do something different.
Oh, jesus, I just remembered!...
The cute but completely and totally unnecessary A Christmas Story Christmas!
Fun to watch once, but definitely not a "rewatch every Christmas" kind of fun movie. So much bad crap just happens over and over again and it just doesn't feel like a happy story!
There are only two Shrek films.
Hot take that might get some shit, but I'll say it anyway:
The Matrix.
The first movie, if it was the only one, was such a sleek tight narrative with such a satisfying ending that left so much open to the imagination that arguably the movie would have more cultural impact today if it stopped there.
The Matrix Reloaded was full of action scenes that still haven't been matched, and I liked the story, even if it was a bit bonkers at times.
The Matrix Revolutions was... disappointing. Big battle scenes had already been overdone at that point, the story was just getting stretched too thin, and dialogue was laughable at critical moments.
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Anchorman 2. The first is such a great movie start to finish with so many legendary quotable lines. The second could never have compared to the original. Sticking with Will Ferrell, I really hope noone ever gets the idea to make a Step Brothers 2.
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R.I.P.D. 2
Hear me out. I watched the first R.I.P.D. on a flight, expecting it to be enjoyably bad, but it wasn't. Instead, it was just enjoyable. The whimsical lore of combining ancient prophecy with modern people and boring bureaucracy was pretty funny. Was it an absolutely fantastic movie? No, but it was good.
The sequel, however, explored none of the above any further. Instead, it tried to replace all that with a much more dramatic tone. So when I watched this one on the flight back, it wasn't even enjoyably bad. It was just simple and dull.
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Lost Boys 2 is pretty tragic. Dunno about worst ever.. but first thing that sprung to mind. Those sequels are rough and capture none of the magic of the original. They shouldn't have bothered.
Pacific Rim 2
Blues Brothers 2000
Most unnecessary, Indiana Jones 4. Last Crusade was a perfect ending. Worst...I submit Grease 2 for your consideration. Not only is it a terrible movie, it is arguably worse than Starlight Express as a musical.
Faraway, So Close!
Wings of Desire is one of my all time top 10 movies, as tempting as it was to make a sequel, it never should have happened. It definitely should not have had a pie fight.
The Sting is a near-perfect movie which wraps up an entire story, spawning an entire genre of copycat clever-twisting ensemble movies. It wasn't the first movie about the grift, but it was the best.
Sting 2 shared similar characters.
Terminator 3
As bad as it was, it had its good moments.
Terminator 3 was fun and I genuinely liked how it ended.
Salvation is ok for the most part, purely because I've always wanted to see more of the Future War.
Genisys was just terrible and the marketing ruined the big twist of the whole film. Plus Jai Courtney isn't the best actor and I can't believe I checked the time on my watch during a Terminator film.
Apart from the impressive opening sequence, Dark Fate wasn't that good either.
Ghostbusters 2
You take that back
I love it (I LOVE the ghostbusters, any iteration. I even own 2016 on bluray--don't crucify me), but it's not a good movie.
No one seemingly remembers a giant marshmallow man attacking the city and ghosts running wild? The ghostbusters have disbanded and two of them now do kids parties, instead of hailed as heroes ushering in a new era of proof of life after death? Venkman and Dana split, negating all their chemistry from the first (and making him seem like an even bigger asshole), but then end up back together anyways? It's a giant reset and redo, with Stay Puft replaced by.... Oy, the statue of liberty. Even as a kid, I was like "the statue of liberty isn't an action figure. It doesn't have joints and can't walk."
Rumor has it the creative team tanked it on purpose to get out of more sequels and whether true or not, it definitely worked.
But the courtroom scene is amazing!
Even though it's obviously a completely shallow copy of the original, it's still a fun watch for the following reasons:
- All of Egon's lines.
- All of Venkman's lines.
- Peter MacNicol's character.
- The whole "World of the Psychic" scene
- The whole courtroom scene (as you mentioned).
- The overall concept of the haunted painting is pretty fun, but I think in combination with the mood slime idea it overcomplicates things. However, there are some fun moments with the slime.
- Louis and Jeanine's romance has some funny dialogue, though that storyline kind of wastes time that could've been spent on more fun supernatural stuff.
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Conan the destroyer. The first movie (Conan the barbarian) was absolutely amazing, the second one was a cheap cash grab about some super team setting out to save a girl from an evil bad guy.
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this post was submitted on 14 Aug 2023
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