202
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
this post was submitted on 23 Sep 2023
202 points (100.0% liked)
Asklemmy
43855 readers
1450 users here now
A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions
Search asklemmy ๐
If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!
- Open-ended question
- Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
- Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
- Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
- An actual topic of discussion
Looking for support?
Looking for a community?
- Lemmyverse: community search
- sub.rehab: maps old subreddits to fediverse options, marks official as such
- !lemmy411@lemmy.ca: a community for finding communities
~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~
founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
Having kids. I love my kids, but if I could go back and not have them I absolutely would. Never have kids until you're financially comfortable. Fuck, the struggle is fucking real.
I really admire the honesty and bravery it took to write this comment. Thank you for sharing.
It is a sad reality that I hate even thinking about. I love these little bastards to pieces, but the money thing is killing me. I'm in a spot where I'm "too rich" to qualify for any government help and too poor to be able to afford it on my own.
My wife and I had a similar conversation the other day. The kids were being a handful, and she said, "Why do people even have kids?"
And I said it's because society lies to you. "You'll never feel emotionally/mentally/financially ready for kids. Just do it!"
I always tell people that you need to be 110% sure. I wouldn't trade my kids for anything, but I sure do miss the quiet, free time, and extra money.
And for most people that day never comes and THAT'S PERFECTLY FINE. It is horrifying that something as extreme as creating a human from nothing is seen as something that people should just do. Baffling.
That's basically the biggest lie/bullshit you can ever hear. You can always be ready for kids. I just need $75+k a year and I'll be more than happy.
I feel this. I still don't have kids of my own, but my parents had some rough patches which I hope I learn from and don't repeat; thankfully I only realised most of that when I grew up.
Much respect to your parents and you. Raising kids has been the most difficult thing I've done in my life, and I've been deployed into war zones twice.