I agree with most of what you said, and would also not call him a rapist, and don't think he should get quite a pass on the whole "backs down if you say no when you catch him" part.

He's not stupid and evil, so when his attempted prey wakes up he doesn't force the issue. He did still try to, somnophiliac-like, literally prey on an unconsenting unconscious person which is bad. He can be forgiven due to circumstance and dialogue, but that's a choice that I wouldn't say that a player would be wrong in making as compared to kicking him out.