This headline really sent me into a panic!

I woke up Thursday to enlarged man parts. It was like someone slipped two lemons and a grapefruit into my pants overnight. Long story short doctor says it's an allergic reaction to something, I had to let the fluids drain back out, this accomplished by lying on my back for two days with it wrapped up in an Ace bandage pointed at the ceiling.

After seeing the headline I thought for sure it was happening globally pun intended