[-] Shirow@lemmy.zip 9 points 1 day ago

They do πŸ‘‰πŸ‘ˆ

[-] Shirow@lemmy.zip 1 points 2 days ago

I try to find the courage to do some small task everyday and then do more in the week-end.

Hard to have energy left. I push through to do a little bit of sports almost everyday too. I cannot fathom what parents go through everyday.

[-] Shirow@lemmy.zip 4 points 3 days ago

I may add even without an option to turn back I would.

[-] Shirow@lemmy.zip 3 points 3 days ago

Awesome game FNV. I should replay it. (Even though it's harder for me to find the will to play video games now. Been better lately)

Then I don't really know what to say about depression. I've lived some hard times with it struggling with body issues and addiction (well mine is about sugar... I can't say it's the same as you but it never helped about my weight and liver). And my mom had some mental health issues that probably affected me too.

It's hard to find a reason to keep fighting. I struggled 3 years in university failing and at some point I started just going to the gym instead hiding from my parents that I didn't go to university. Mine was trying hard to fix myself and trying a fresh start ( I don't know how I started). But the turning point was when I met my wife I've met 8 years ago. I didn't even fathom my transidentity (I've been really dense and was probably running away from it.). At first I didn't know her troubles and then I had to stay strong to support her and pushing away my troubles to help her. (No that wasn't healthy for me...)

I can't really tell you how I've been handling this, there's ups and downs throughout our relationship, but so far I'm not taking any meds even though it would probably have been easier. Maybe I was running away from psychiatrist because I've never found one that I would consider safe?

Anyway, I think love made me push this far. I don't know if I will be happy with the changes of my body with HRT, but I keep hoping. At least even though if I'm not entirely happy with myself I know it will still be better than before. And mostly people will find beauty where you would not about yourself. It's hard to love myself but when I see my wife loving me and the way I look even though sometimes I loathe the way I look, well I glad someone can appreciate me this way.

I don't know if this message makes sense or will help but that's a sum up of my experience.

[-] Shirow@lemmy.zip 5 points 4 days ago

I feel targeted 🫣 I have some ideas but I feel I'm missing something. Like there was a name I can't remember from something I watched or read that influenced and would be right.

[-] Shirow@lemmy.zip 22 points 4 days ago

Wish I knew sooner to but better late than never ☺️

Awesome change though, in almost 2 months in.

[-] Shirow@lemmy.zip 4 points 5 days ago

I don't have any advice about it since I've never lived anything like it. Here's a virtual hug πŸ«‚

[-] Shirow@lemmy.zip 5 points 6 days ago

I'm a bit jealous. You look great ☺️

46
submitted 1 month ago by Shirow@lemmy.zip to c/mtf

Okay, so It's my first post. I don't know if this count as NSFW but just in case I'll put a spoiler.

Tap for spoilerSo... today i felt something that I had never felt before a big dysphoria crisis when my wife started to be a bit intimate with me.

I won't go into details, but basically I never though that my bottom part would cause me this feeling. I ended up crying because of what I felt... I can't really put words on it...

I never felt that before when I was still an egg. (Well, some things were less enjoyable but never this).

I don't really know what to think about it, why did my body react this way. Even though I never though about any surgery about it.

Even yesterday, I thought like I don't understand why some people would have dysphoria about their genitals. I though that we need to deconstruct gender and we can be feminine or masculine with any organs and this hits me like a slap I'm the face.

I feel foolish.

[-] Shirow@lemmy.zip 29 points 1 month ago

Oh... I'm already doing that with my wife and in any case I'm always sitting down. I thought it was more commun to do that.

I mean I always thought it was more hygenic to prevent the "splash zone"...

[-] Shirow@lemmy.zip 37 points 1 month ago

πŸ‘‰πŸ‘ˆ I'm leaning toward the right side now.

[-] Shirow@lemmy.zip 57 points 1 month ago

I'm in this image and I don't... Well I am in it.

[-] Shirow@lemmy.zip 28 points 1 month ago

I haven't yet done my social transition (nor medical yet but soon). I can only imagine what you feel.

Wishing you the best (at least the best it can be right now), all I can offer is virtual hug πŸ€—

view more: next β€Ί

Shirow

joined 3 months ago