This all really started in July of 2024. My wife and I were living in Minneapolis, she had recent accepted a position at a university in Germany, and we had been selling 90% of our worldly possessions to make international marginally more affordable. One of the most difficult sales, was that of my PC. I have been building and upgrading my own PC's for 15 years now, and this was the first time in a very very long time that I would not have a PC of any kind. But, shipping it internationally was more likely to damage it, and we didn't know what our living situation was going to be like for a while, so off it went.
(note. I will be using $ instead of € because this is an American laptop. Just know that all prices are actually in Euros.)
Fast forward to November of 2024. We've been in Germany for a month now. Finding apartments in Berlin is EXTREMELY difficult, and I wont be able to work until I find an English-only position, or I reach B1 fluency in German, neither is proving easy. So rather than purchase another PC, I decide to buy a laptop. I already have a shitty old laptop, but it only has 8GB of RAM, and can therefor barely run the bloatware that has become modern software and internet browsers. I spend a week researching, and eventually settle on a Dell G16 laptop. It has good reviews, and Dell's support ranks well. Having never purchased an assembled device before, I figure this is good enough, and place the order. It comes out to just under $1,900 with taxes and a backpack. I also purchase an $80 cooling pad because I need to baby this thing to last as long as possible.
Things are okay at first. But my first indication that something is awry is when my VR stops working 2 weeks later. I lament my bad luck, as I had made serious space and weight sacrifices when packing specifically so I could bring my VR with me, and the laptop I selected was specifically VR-rated. I tried contacting Steam support, but they refused to help because "The Valve Index is not officially supported on laptops." So fuck me. A $1900 laptop with a $1000 digital paper weight. Oh well. Life goes on. Then about 5 months later, I start noticing other issues. It's running slower, crashing often, and degrading to the point where even basic web browsing causes system instability. I start doing some serious investigation to figure out how to fix it. I find my way to the Dell IT website, and the majority of suggestions point out that my specific model had a BIOS issue, and to download a BIOS updater. I'm nervous, because I know how hairy BIOS updates can be, but I provided my devices SN, and this is the BIOS update file it recommends.
In the mean time, I start looking for ways to contact Dell IT. I try calling them, but there is no English option. I try emailing them, and they never respond. I spend literal days trying to contact them, and never succeeding. So I return to the BIOS update, and send it through. That was the last day the laptop was usable to any extent.
The update failed. And when the laptop booted back to the windows log in screen, I had literally no functional access. The keyboard no longer worked, nor did any of the external USB ports. The mousepad worked, but without the ability to type in my password, I was soft locked on the login screen. While I continued to search for ways to contact Dell, I also started looking up consumer protections in Germany. I was delighted to find that Germany may have the strongest consumer protection laws of any country.
Eventually, I found how to contact Dell. Through WhatsApp. Which appears to be literally the only way to contact them. I initiated contact with them, explaining everything that had happened, then politely asked for a refund, as German law supports "Withdrawal from a contract when defects are extensive and repairs are unreasonable." I figured the extent of the issues supported this. Dell disagreed. I spent a week talking to them back and forth. I went to Reddit, where I was summarily told to shut up, be happy with whatever service Dell wanted to provide me, and stop complaining. I continued searching, and was unable to find a single instance of a consumer actually managing to withdraw right from the start. Rather, the typical MO is to repair or replace a device twice, before refunds are offered.
So, I accepted my mistake, and asked Dell for a replacement device. As this is very explicitly stated in German law. When a device has defects within the first 12 months of purchase, it is automatically assumed to be manufacturer error, unless definitively proven otherwise. When a manufacturer error is identified, the consumer may choose replacement or repair. The supplier may only refuse the consumers desired remedy if it would cause unfair or unreasonable cost to the supplier. This is not interpretation, that is very clearly worded.
So, I asked Dell for a replacement. They said no. I asked how they could justify refusing German consumer law. They said their corporate policy aligned with international law, and did not allow replacements of devices as old as mine...
Again, I spent a week arguing back and forth, being ignored, receiving hundreds of empty apologies, until I finally got to talk to a manger. On the phone, he exclaimed that they were only refusing to replace the device because it wasn't obvious that it was, in fact, manufacturer error. I reiterated that it is automatically assumed to be unless otherwise proven, and he asked how it could be proven if I wasn't willing to send it in for repairs. I responded by stating there is a big difference between asking me to send the device for repairs, and inspection. I agreed that I would send the device in for inspection, with the promise that it would not simply be repaired and sent back. He agreed.
2 weeks later, I received the "repaired" device. I was pissed, but was looking forward to the headache to be done with once and for all. I set the repair certificate aside, and turned on the computer, to find that literally nothing had been repaired. It was in the exact same useless state as it had been before. I once again contact Dell, and ask why they lied and repaired the device, and why they didn't actually repair the device. I once again demanded a replacement, since they already showed their total incompetence in an obviously failed repair that was certified functional. Once again, they refused.
They offered another repair, and promised that if the second repair failed, they would replace the device. Without any other directions to take, I accepted. This time, they sent a repair tech to my home. He replaced several parts, showed me that it was functional in the BIOS, then left. Once he was out the door, I booted it to the windows log in, and the issue persisted. No keyboard, no USB. But, at least I could get to the BIOS now. It had been impossible before, as the F10 key was not recognized during start-up. I try to reset the device to factory default, and it fails. The device no longer has wifi access.
I spend a few minutes trying to reset, update, refresh, etc, and eventually discover that the power button itself is now broken. I can only turn the device on by awkwardly smashing and wiggling the power button around. But turning it off, which requires a 5-10 second press, is impossible. Also, it has a built-in battery. Meaning once it turns on, it's literally impossible to turn off until the battery drains.
I contact Dell once again, and explain the astounding lengths of this debacle, and this time dig my heels in. "Under §440 BGB I am legally entitled to withdraw from a contract after 2 failed repair attempts. This constitutes the second fail. And the device is now both an actual safety hazard, due to its inability to be turned off." Dells response? "No."
That was 2 weeks ago. Every other day they tell me "We are working on figuring out how to repair your device." When I ask what that means, and how they can figure out how to repair a device sitting in my living room, the only response is "We're working on it." and "We have all the information we need." So I contacted a lawyer today, and have a primary consultation in 2 weeks. I told Dell again that I had contacted a lawyer and planned on taking legal action. Their response was, once again, "Thank you for your patience, we are working on repairing your device."
A multi-billion dollar company stole my money, gave me a defective chunk of plastic, pretended to repair it, then gave me the silent treatment when I asked for a refund. I tried to get support on r/Dell and was told to shut up and be happy with whatever Dell offered. I sought advice on r/GermanLawAdvice, and only got a response from a single person, that happened to agreed that Dell was legally obligated to replace the device, before the trolls from r/Dell followed me there to bury the post.
TLDR; Purchased a €1,900 laptop from Dell. Laptop broke in 9 months. Dell failed to repair it twice. Now refuses to speak to me after I demanded a refund under German law.

Are you trying to sound condescending? Because this reads as extremely condescending.