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At least you got that. Some people just ghost you.
What is better:
- Get ghosted
- get AI generated text back
Definitely 2.
Not even close
As someone who lives in rural Scotland and is old enough to have got married before the prevalence of these apps, I genuinely never expected to find the way most people hook up these days to be so utterly alien to my own lived experience.
I honestly don't know how I'd cope with having to curate myself for some dystopian line-up so that, if I'm lucky, I can end up on these depressingly transactional dates, only to get these polite but impersonal rebuffs.
In my day people just got drunk enough to speak to the opposite sex, and if you clicked and miraculously still liked each other the next day then you'd start 'going out' with each other.
I can see how that might sound awful to many of this generation, but it was pretty much normal for us. And as a pretty plain guy with a reasonable sense of humour it worked out pretty well for me.
That's still how it works often. You're just on Lemmy/social media, which is full of terminally online folks and content.
This a symptom. But that funny to see guy discovering
One girl dumped me after a few dates, nothing special, and she was super apologetic. She said she'd understand if I called her a fucking bitch and blocked her. I was so offended by that comment. I'm not one of those insecure guys who flips out when they get rejected. I can handle being dumped! I can't believe she thought so lowly of me! Fucking bitch!
Self fulfilling prophecy?
That's the joke.
I'd rather get something like this instead of seeing it die off slowly and then not getting a straight answer or getting blindsided. Just rip the bandaid off—be honest about what's going on. If you can't learn to handle these situations and handle your emotions in a reasonable manner, then maybe you shouldn't be dating yet...
Jesus. It's just a funny message because she sounds exactly like the HR lady.
Ok, but look at all the other comments besides mine. They're getting all antsy about it.
Thats because they are afraid you're going to lose it and verbally, physically or mentally abuse them.
I had a friend call me one night because she said no to a guy and he started threatening to kill himself. Like damn. That's some insane guilt-tripping, manipulative bullshit right out the gate. And this wasn't the first time this happened to her too.
It would be so hard me not to say "do it pussy."
My mom did this in high school when a guy who was stalking her threatened to kill himself.
He's still alive, over thirty years later.
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If you live in a civilized nation call the police immediately. If it is a real they will save him, if it is not, he will get prosecuted (threatening to take ones life is a form of black mail). Also the necessary people who can help you and him will get informed.
A friend of mine actually did this and it resolved the situation. He had a talk with the police, admitted the mistake and never did something like that (to her) again.
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"men are scared women will laugh in their face, while women are scared it's their lives men will take"
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Hey, it's polite and a response. Pretty good in my book
I got a message soon after I started talking to someone where they said they wanted to see where their current thing went with somebody they'd met a few times, and like, yeah, thanks and I respect that. it seemed genuine. I was happy to get that message instead of chats just disappearing when it seemed like it was going well.
because chats disappearing is the easy way out. it takes a mature person to not ghost.
yeah it only made me more disappointed that they were unavailable lol, they were the best match I've had and it was over in like two messages, and their last message was just more evidence how decent they were
still, happy for them
So, ghosting is bad and evil. At least tell the man you aren't interested! Men are suffering due to ghosting! But also, don't put him down when rejecting him. Men have to suffer so much rejection, so their ego is easily hurt. Let him down gently!!
Oh, you did? Well let me mock you for being TOO nice and diplomatic about it 😂.
Damn I'm so happy I'm not dating anymore. Feels like no way to do it right.
Fair enough statement about some of the comments here, but at least the original poster in the screenshot is taking it in good stride like you're supposed to with a polite rejection.
Rejection is the antecedent for many behaviors, which are often dangerous. So we try a lot of ways to make it impersonal, kind, soften the blow…etc.
Y'know, I'm fine with it because it is at least professional. Better than getting ghosted or them being rude about it.
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Is it really all that surprising that when
- Dating, especially with apps, has become for so many such a soul-crushing impersonal numbers game
- Enough people (but mostly fragile men) become menacing upon being rejected
- Enough people keep complaining about how bad it feels to get ghosted
someone would end up sending this?
Jesus Christ, try and get into other people's shoes from time to time.
Honestly yeah, this is better than ghosting so good on her
Trying to prevent you from getting threatening and nasty due to the threat to your "masculinity".
It’s hurtful that they think I’d even be threatening and nasty. That they just immediately assume I’m some kind of monster. It makes me feel like I have no value.
You don't know that anyone who responds this way actually thinks this. There are a limited amount of ways to communicate that they're not interested and over-explaining and hedging their niceness would also just backfire. They gave exactly as much explanation as needed. It may come off a bit stiff because the tone is neutral (and they only use "I" sentences - speaking only what they know to be true instead of projecting with "you" sentences).
You may want more validation and that's fine. But nobody owes it to you. You say "they just immediately assume I’m some kind of monster" - but you could be doing the same thing in assuming their motivations when they only speak neutrally.
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at least they sent a message, good on her.
For women, bluntness and honesty is treated as assault.
For men, retaliation is unremarkable and unnoticed until it's too late.
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Men: crash out when they get ghosted
Also men:
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this post was submitted on 06 Dec 2025
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