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[-] dalekcaan@feddit.nl 55 points 3 days ago

The Dekoda costs $599 plus a mandatory subscription of at least $6.99 per month.

Imagine paying $600 plus $7 a month for Kohler to look at your shit.

[-] thermal_shock@lemmy.world 3 points 3 days ago

Jokes on the intern?

[-] Jimbabwe@lemmy.world 80 points 3 days ago

Sometimes this timeline is too absurd not to love a little bit

[-] Whostosay@sh.itjust.works 12 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

I pray everyday that someone sneaks up behind me and hits my head with a large hammer

[-] yermaw@sh.itjust.works 4 points 3 days ago

Im always watching the lamps just in case.

Feels like we've landed in an episode of Brasseye

[-] ininewcrow@lemmy.ca 64 points 3 days ago

Anyone who decided to buy a smart toilet with internet access deserves to not have an encrypted connection

[-] TheWinged7@lemmy.zip 15 points 3 days ago

Its even worse, its a smart attachment for any existing toilet

[-] SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca 4 points 3 days ago

Only a matter of time before the Kohler Miracle occurs, a magnificent turd in the shape of the Virgin Mary.

[-] khepri@lemmy.world 10 points 2 days ago

I don't like to judge idiots too harshly, but if you bought a product marketed as an encrypted toilet camera you deserve whatever happens to you

[-] Drun@lemmy.world 1 points 2 days ago

Real gangsters use full fledged Dahua & go2rtc as their toilet camera

[-] Raptor_007@lemmy.world 51 points 3 days ago

What the fuck are we doing as humanity

[-] SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca 29 points 3 days ago

Storing petabytes of shit photos on coal burning servers cooled by drinking water.

Because a guy in a black turtleneck told us to.

[-] VitoRobles@lemmy.today 3 points 2 days ago

Wait, it stores it?

I thought it forwards my shit pictures to my enemies.

[-] icelimit@lemmy.ml 1 points 2 days ago

Now there's a business plan

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[-] SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca 26 points 3 days ago

Literally a shit post. Well done sir.

[-] ExLisper@lemmy.curiana.net 33 points 3 days ago
[-] tidderuuf@lemmy.world 27 points 3 days ago

What a shitty design.

Wait, this technology wasn’t an onion article or a fever dream? WTF Kohler, how much money did you waste on this tech and supporting infrastructure?!

[-] biggerbogboy@sh.itjust.works 12 points 3 days ago

Considering there has been a massive wave of smart cameras everywhere in and outside homes in the past and especially recently getting "hacked", it's not a stretch that randomly picking cameras to look through could yield a droopy balls and veiny cock jumpscare

[-] Confused_Emus@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 2 days ago

If you’re hacking a toilet camera, you deserve whatever horrors you find.

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[-] roserose56@lemmy.zip 16 points 3 days ago

Camera toilet? For shitting with your boyfriend/girlfriend together.

[-] davidagain@lemmy.world 5 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

They invented an internet poop camera and people actually buy it?!

The person who got this done is persuasive as fuck and should be in sales, not R&D.

[-] mp3@lemmy.ca 19 points 3 days ago
[-] E_coli42@lemmy.world 17 points 3 days ago
[-] db2@lemmy.world 30 points 3 days ago

I'd just like to interject for a moment. What you're refering to as Shitcam, is in fact, GNU/Shitcam, or as I've recently taken to calling it, GNU plus Shitcam.

[-] DocMcStuffin@lemmy.world 15 points 3 days ago

Literally using people's shit to train their shit AI.

[-] Apytele@sh.itjust.works 5 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

If you wanna log your logs the old fashioned way with just a spreadsheet:

Date / time

  • Small / medium / large
  • Bristol Scale
  • color
  • could also add odor or discomfort if you're worried about that

On a second spreadsheet in that workbook, keep a food diary, because that's gonna provide a LOT of context (and you might discover some ways to be nicer to your tummy).

[-] QuantumSparkles@sh.itjust.works 10 points 3 days ago

That’s because they call it Ass-to-Ass Encryption

[-] Fmstrat@lemmy.world 1 points 2 days ago

I love the phrase "data is encrypted at rest."

Having worked with a lot of medical data, the rules are simple:

  • Encrypt at rest
  • Rest is when the database is off
  • Never turn off the database
[-] richie_golds@lemmy.ca 2 points 2 days ago

I guess they need to train the AI to better differentiate between gut issues and last night’s borscht.

[-] KarfiolosHus@discuss.tchncs.de 4 points 3 days ago

So is it any wonder that people are afraid of technology?

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[-] Washedupcynic@lemmy.ca 6 points 3 days ago

um, couldn't you just look down at your shit, or take your own picture on your smart phone to compare to other poop images on the web? Like why the fuck would anyone need a toilet camera?

[-] okwhateverdude@lemmy.world 4 points 3 days ago

Might drop phone into the shitty toilet! But if the camera is specifically designed for my toilet, can't drop it in! What an amazing product idea for people like me! Also, I don't tell you your hobbies are dumb. If you're curious, I have a graphed some data showing my normal distribution of bristol scale output for the last few years. Can't tell you how many times I've had to fish the phone out of the toilet to collect that data (don't worry, it's waterproof, so it gets rinsed off during the flush).

[-] tkk13909@sopuli.xyz 6 points 3 days ago
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[-] xorollo@leminal.space 6 points 3 days ago

What are the ends in this end-to-end? Someone more clever than me can make this into a joke.

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[-] Samsy@lemmy.ml 1 points 2 days ago

Adding the vids of my toilet to the vids the roomla made. It all comes together.

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this post was submitted on 04 Dec 2025
335 points (100.0% liked)

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