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submitted 4 days ago by tekeous@beehaw.org to c/onehundredninetysix

A meme with the text “f you share this, a goth girl with 5'3, no piercing, no tattoo, and no attitude will visit you in the next 24 hours

"Can i get goth girl, no piercings?" No piercings?! "And hold the tattoos!" Hold the tattoos?! "And hold the attitude!" HOLD THE ATTITUDE?! Hey Jimmy,get me a goth with nuthin”

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[-] rtxn@lemmy.world 81 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

None pizza with left beef

(I can't believe "none pizza left beef" has a wikipedia page)

[-] Kowowow@lemmy.ca 112 points 3 days ago
[-] Agent641@lemmy.world 35 points 3 days ago
[-] TotallynotJessica 18 points 3 days ago

nazgul definitely have attitude

[-] JackbyDev@programming.dev 17 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

They won't shut up about me getting them a ring, ugh, and it's the first date. Way too interested in commitment. Pass.

[-] FenrirIII@lemmy.world 2 points 3 days ago

Nun > Nazgul

In terms of attitude

[-] SoleInvictus 18 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

It's Morticia Addams, my gateway goth girl.

Edit: oops, she's like 1.8 meters tall.

[-] Zwiebel@feddit.org 10 points 3 days ago
[-] SoleInvictus 12 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

The Dinka of South Sudan, likely the tallest people in the world, average just over 180 cm, so I wouldn't call a 180 cm woman average, no.

Morticia Addams from the Addams Family comics fits the requirements of the post's hypothetical goth girl save for being estimated as about 5'11/180 cm, much taller than the listed 5'3/160 cm. The comics and Carolyn Jones's portrayal (dating myself harder than C-14 here) are also where a very young SoleInvictus first realized they have a thing for pale women in elegant dark clothing with eccentric personalities, hence her being my gateway goth girl.

[-] A_norny_mousse@feddit.org 9 points 3 days ago

dating myself harder than C-14

ha, gotta remember this one

[-] Kowowow@lemmy.ca 4 points 3 days ago

The 1998 one is the first one I saw growing up and I don't feel like I missed out

[-] Broadfern@lemmy.world 87 points 3 days ago

They want a “tradwife” who wears black lipstick.

They’ll probably want her to listen to metal covers of Christian songs as well lmao.

[-] exu@feditown.com 23 points 3 days ago

Satanic screaming probably improves most Christian songs

[-] unknown@piefed.social 5 points 3 days ago

Satan is an xtian construct, so satan8c screaming is still xtian music.

[-] vzqq 2 points 2 days ago

If you believe in Satan as an equal and opposite force to God you’re not Christian. You’re not even monotheistic.

[-] unknown@piefed.social 1 points 2 days ago

Xtianity isn't monotheistic though as it has the trinity and a huge emphasis on jesus being worshipped as the son of god. What's another entity added to this?

And not to mention with one more guy in the mix, they'll actually have a quad and it'll be more symbolically ballanced, one guy for each arm of the tortue device they use as a holy religious symbol.

Hell, with one more dude and a quint, they can crucify jesus in the middle and have a dude for each end of the crucifix. Big g at the top, D man at the bottom, dead J in the middle, Holy S on the right and player 5 on the left.

[-] RubberElectrons@lemmy.world 3 points 2 days ago

For real lmao

[-] abbiistabbii 52 points 3 days ago
[-] StaticFalconar@lemmy.world 22 points 3 days ago

They said hold the attitude.

[-] Agent641@lemmy.world 18 points 3 days ago

Tradwives get to have whatever attitude their husband allows, apparently

[-] AntiBullyRanger@ani.social 10 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

Exactly. The captioner wants someone they can abuse without the ability to resist.

[-] Sergio@lemmy.world 58 points 3 days ago

Funny thing is, most trad goths will tell ya that to be goth all you gotta do is listen to the music, you don't have to dress or act any certain way.

!gothindustrial@lemmy.world

[-] Hegar@fedia.io 36 points 3 days ago

In my day most goths would spend the entire night telling you why every single other person in the club was not a real goth.

The funniest one i remember was that only Liebach is true goth music, if you listen to anything else you're a poser.

[-] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 21 points 3 days ago
[-] Hegar@fedia.io 15 points 3 days ago
[-] antonim@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 3 days ago
[-] cassandrafatigue@lemmy.dbzer0.com 53 points 3 days ago

Well, uh... She'll be pale and wear a lot of black?

[-] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 29 points 3 days ago

No, wearing that much black takes attitude

[-] Trainguyrom@reddthat.com 8 points 2 days ago

Funny thing is, big tiddy goth girlfriends sometimes turn into big titty wives who make your wardrobe look dark and colorless in comparison! I should know I married one!

[-] gmtom@lemmy.world 7 points 3 days ago

Nuthiiinnn???

this post was submitted on 28 Nov 2025
415 points (100.0% liked)

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