Tirana. Being a courier, you can just zap yourself from South America or Australia straight to Albania to securely deliver a package or message. Provided your contracts cover the costs of the non-teleportation aspects, you can make millions easily.
Cantonese speaking dog is the obvious choice. Far more impressive than anything else here.
Easy: Teleport to Albania for cheap rent and food, work somewhere with high pay.
The black pill is the logical one to take. It's basically a get out of death (or jail, I suppose) free card if you can use it at the right time. Unfortunately, most people don't speak the language or have a passport that would allow them to leave the country. So you might have problems there.
Changing eye color at will would be cool as well, but not as useful in an emergency.
Quite a lot of Albanians speak English these days, I think you would be completely fine in basically every circumstance assuming you could open a safety deposit box and leave a spare passport.
Give me dat blue pill and drop me in Schism. Those weird clay people look like they know how to party!
My reactions in order upon seeing these:
"Sounds cool I could probably convince some nutjobs that I'm a demon or something?"
"Who?"
"Great my head already doesn't fit through my doorframe as it is"
"I would farm exactly two reactions out of this before getting bored"
"Who?"
"Is he only like ethnically cantonese or is that the sole language he speaks?"
"So nothing"
"A what in a what now?"
"Oh no."
Red pill,I guess 🤷♂️
Obviously pink.
I don't see any stipulation that says I can only use my power only once.
ITT: a lot of people who don't commit crimes because they're afraid they'd get caught instead of, you know, ethics.
Getting a speaking dog is so amazingly superior it's not even funny
TOOL? QB, XFL? (Luol Deng?) Are those Chinese abbreviations (and celebrity)?
Xijinping Football League
Can't believe no one at all is thinking about 'Become a Third String QB in the XFL'. There's nothing specifying that this is a one time transformation.
Being an XFL QB of any level seems like it would require a general level of health and wellbeing... If you could assume that this would make you capable of being a QB with everything that would typically entail and if that power was constant where you were always capable of being a QB... You could be kind of immortal, healthy, and always in at least above average shape.
Also imagining a world where all society has collapsed except the XFL, I'd read that book.
Going for purple to get the dog. I speak Mandarin, so if I put in the effort I could learn Cantonese really fast.
Black could be handy once in a while.
The vagueness gives me pause. You could effectively be a god depending on whether you can choose where and how to teleport within Tirana. Constructing buildings and shipping goods with minimal cost and energy. Renaming other towns to expand your powers. Expanding Albania to do the same. Definitely the highest ceiling
5 Dollarydoos!?

Black one. You can earn a lot of money by being the fastest delivery agent.
Love the idea that a third string QB in the XFL is worth $5 AUD. Still overvalued.
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A collection of some classic Lemmy memes for your enjoyment
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