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I'm going Orange. I feel like all of the others would naturally follow.

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[-] Ensign_Crab@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago

Eye color. Though the five dollarydoos are tempting.

[-] Sunflier@lemmy.world 7 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

The black teleport one. You rob a bank and then teleport away so you can't be tracked? The means of escape is usually how they track you down. So, suddenly being able to teleport thousands of miles in a moment?

Also, it'd be really useful for interstellar stuff. You only need enough fuel, food, and air to go one way. Strap me onto the rocket to Mars! I'd even hop back with huge sacks of Mars rocks to give to NASA. We've figured out the trek to Mars, its the getting back that's been the problem.

[-] exasperation@lemmy.dbzer0.com 17 points 2 days ago

"Albanian Transporter" would be a pretty sick nickname of an assassin whose movements seem to defy the laws of physics.

[-] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 4 points 2 days ago

Sounds like a perverse sex move to me.

[-] Tedesche@lemmy.world 9 points 2 days ago

If I could teleport other people into a Tool music video, this wins hands down.

[-] Aljernon@lemmy.today 12 points 2 days ago

Obviously I'm teleporting to Albania.

[-] Korhaka@sopuli.xyz 7 points 2 days ago

Red, can I also change each eye to a different colour?

[-] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 2 points 2 days ago

Sure, why not, go crazy.

[-] gerryflap@feddit.nl 6 points 2 days ago

Uhmmmm can I also teleport back from Albania? If so, then sure. I hate travelling so I never really go far, being able to go to Albania and back at the blink of an eye would be chill. Going for a nice lunch walk and then teleport back. Otherwise I'll go with the eye colour I guess, the rest is useless.

[-] seejur@lemmy.world 3 points 2 days ago

Maybe I'm reading it wrong, but it's a one way ticket?

[-] Sv443@sh.itjust.works 27 points 3 days ago

ur telling me I can get a /home command and all I need to do is become Albanian?

[-] Cattail@lemmy.world 8 points 2 days ago

The Cantonese speaking dog is pretty cool. I like the Albania teleporting till I realized I need to get out of Albania

[-] hperrin@lemmy.ca 120 points 3 days ago

Black one for sure. You could get away with some amazing heists/pranks/achievements.

[-] Valmond@lemmy.world 66 points 3 days ago

And they'll be waiting for you in Tarana Albania, every time.

[-] Corkyskog@sh.itjust.works 39 points 3 days ago

Everywhere? The first thing I would do is take a 3 month vacation and scout the entire city.

Best chances are to bribe the politicians and police, then you can get away with a lot.

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[-] ___qwertz___@feddit.org 35 points 3 days ago

People here talk about doing crime with the black pill, but I would instead just be the perfect astronaut.

Think about it, they could shoot you in space without having to think about how to get you back. No landing, no parachute, just a one way rocket launch.

Space agencies would be practically forced to hire you on the spot.

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[-] Dvixen@lemmy.world 5 points 2 days ago

Red. My eye colour already changes randomly, although less often and more subtly than it did when I was younger.

I'd love to be able to control it and confuse people.

[-] Meron35@lemmy.world 41 points 3 days ago

Pink, because then you can fold Queen Elizabeth II into a whale giving head

[-] SkyezOpen@lemmy.world 19 points 3 days ago

God save... What the fuck?

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[-] justdaveisfine@piefed.social 94 points 3 days ago

Red.

Simply say "oh, its a full moon tonight?" Then look at them with your now piercingly red eyes and state "I must leave, immediately."

Get out of any social situation and you can get your friends to think you're hiding some big secret. Win win.

[-] myster0n@feddit.nl 43 points 3 days ago

Or "don't make me angry, you wouldn't like me when I'm angry" while turning your eyes green

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[-] bryndos@fedia.io 23 points 3 days ago

Quite a lot are picking Tirana.

I suspect there'll be some telefragging in the future.

[-] tgirlschierke 7 points 2 days ago

There's a lot of room for interpretation with purple, but 80 million people speak Cantonese. I would be a fool not to take it.

[-] GiveOver@feddit.uk 56 points 3 days ago

One time I was in Spain and I found 5 Australian dollars on the floor in a train station. I picked it up and pocketed it. The same day, I climbed a bell tower in some museum/remains and was chilling up there for half an hour, without anybody else coming up. Eventually another person came up and said hi. Recognised they were Australian so I asked them if they wanted 5 dollars and they said "....yeah?" And I gave it to them. No explanation.

I laugh sometimes thinking of the story from their perspective, climbing a Spanish bell tower and meeting an English guy at the top who hands them 5AUD, like a NPC in an RPG.

[-] RabbleRebel@lemmy.wtf 16 points 3 days ago

我想要狗狗做朋友

DOG!

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[-] marcos@lemmy.world 58 points 3 days ago

And teleport back back, right?

... Right?

[-] Corkyskog@sh.itjust.works 29 points 3 days ago

I didn't take it that way. It's still super useful. Bribe their government to not say shit and try to keep a low profile. I don't know how fucked your passport would look though...

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[-] Tier1BuildABear@lemmy.world 4 points 2 days ago

I can get a dog I can talk to with a translator app? Hell yeah

[-] BobbyGasoline@lemmy.world 5 points 2 days ago

Right?I will learn Cantonese to be able to talk to my dog.

[-] bstix@feddit.dk 2 points 2 days ago

Your dogs says: Bow wow wow yippie yay yippie yo.

[-] BobbyGasoline@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago

Now that I think about it, Im the spare human. They would just speak to me like if they were the protagonists in a 1970's Kung Fu movie and Im Pai Mie. "Filthy Ape! Once I defeat you, I will sleep next to mother, and you will sleep in hell! I would also like to be let out...."

[-] W3dd1e@lemmy.zip 4 points 2 days ago

DOG. Always dogs. More dogs. I want to pet all the dog.

[-] zxqwas@lemmy.world 31 points 3 days ago

Black. I could do anything far away from Albania, teleport there, have three cctv cameras and 9 guys at a pub confirm was there having a drink with them in the evening the 23rd and could definitely not have been robbing a jewelery store in Copenhagen at the same time.

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[-] nurunuru@leminal.space 3 points 2 days ago

australians rise up

[-] TheAlbatross 41 points 3 days ago

Talking dog, it's so obviously talking dog

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[-] pupbiru@aussie.zone 22 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

i reckon you could make more than $5AUD with a cantonese speaking dog

AND you get a dog

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[-] Ugurcan@lemmy.world 13 points 3 days ago

Dinner with Luol Deng of course. I don’t know who it is but that pill means I get free dinner every night.

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[-] Stern@lemmy.world 8 points 3 days ago

gonna increase my skull diameter by an inch and concuss the FUCK out of myself.

[-] Credibly_Human@lemmy.world 16 points 3 days ago

The teleportation is obviously most powerful in terms of exploits

The dog could bring about the most technological advancement

I think Ill go for the eye color change though, because its so uncommon to have different eye colors.

[-] Apeman42@lemmy.world 14 points 3 days ago

Can you teleport things with you? If so, use your ability to start a business importing items to Albania with nearly zero shipping costs, then invest in the local community until it's a really nice city to teleport home to.

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[-] NauticalNoodle@lemmy.ml 3 points 2 days ago

people dig green eyes.

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this post was submitted on 28 Nov 2025
415 points (100.0% liked)

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