I'm still in touch with my first ever partner after almost 8 years after the breakup. I still very much love them, but not romantically though, they're a person i wouldn't want to miss in life!

BUT even with them we only started being friends about 2 years after the breakup. I can say for myself my dumb ass wouldn't be able to process that emotionally at an earlier point.

My last partner blocked me everywhere, but considering the circumstances i can't blame them. We were both bringing out the worst in each other and the shit life threw at us was just too much to handle - depression, cancer diagnosis (i really hope they're doing well) & financial troubles.

so it depends on the case.

ex of mine and I are, dated a bunch in college and broke up amicably. she gave a toast at my wedding lol

I wasn't gonna comment but for sake of diversity I feel you deserve at least one good one. I'm actually quite close with one of my exes from 13 years ago. We dated when I was graduating highschool he broke up with me (very respectfully. He basically just told me I deserved someone who liked me as much as I like them, and he was right).

Anyway, he and I didn't really hang out much or talk much for a while but we were in the same community and would see each other at metal shows all the time and weren't unfriendly but would just kind of live our own lives. Once my ego healed a bit from being dumped we did hook up a couple times. Then some time passed and I met my partner of now over a decade. Anyway, me and the ex still chat, he's met my partner and they get along very well. My ex is a genuinely kind and funny guy and I would be a reference for him any day and I consider him more my friend than my ex at this point.

I really do think time apart is important because they need to become not a constant fixture in your life before you can repair the relationship to "friend" level.

not really anymore, but only for usually drifting apart from old friends reasons. it is hard (for me) to maintain friendships when the other party lives thousands of kilometers away, and everyone is too poor and busy to travel.

You both need a time off, stop or make interactions really "rational and controlled". It takes time to shift to different dynamic between you two.

Once you both (or at least one of you) get new partners, things will be more promising for a genuine friendship.

Otherwise, lingering feelings or "emotionally weak" days seriously risk ruining the relationship and make things permanently awkward.

source: my own experience. I am best friends with my ex. And lived the process myself.

I have some exes that I wanted to and could be friends with (one I was for several years). But it just doesn't fly with a new domestic partnership. I can tell my current girlfriend that I'm going to see female friends, but going out with friends who I've previously had sexual relations with is stretching it. I wouldn't want my girlfriend to do that and so I won't do it to her.

It makes me a bit sad, but I have effectively ended those friendships by no longer agreeing to seeing them.

I also have exes that I wouldn't wish on my biggest enemy and I avoid them like the plague.

I like to say "relationships don't end, they change." I'm friendly with a lot of my exes for the same reasons I was into them in the first place.

For others, the relationship changed into the kind without speaking or acknowledgement. Still pretty sure we'd be civil, if not friendly, if we got stuck in the same elevator. Probably because we all have abandonment issues and Machiavellian tendencies.

I'm not, but a friend is. With a couple, actually. He'd inevitably wind up sleeping with them now and again, and at this point one has just become a fuck buddy with no real relationship attached. But really, it's your own dynamics that matter here, and that's between you and that person. So how anything winds up going, well, the one's most qualified to make best guesses are you and them.

Some yes, some no. For those I do stay friends with, I still take a break and go low/no contact with them for a while before resuming friendship. I need it to draw a line, so to speak, between the old relationship and friendship.

I've also had guys want to "remain friends" while they really meant hookup buddy. A break helps suss out those who are disingenuous with their stated intentions.

Yes but we’re not « good » friends. We saw each other occasionally at best

In your situation I’ll say give it 2-4 years before becoming friend with your ex

Ended a 16 year relationship a couple of months ago. No hard feelings, still friends. It's easier that way :)

No, but I wouldn't be opposed with any of them but one. That one can go fuck herself.

It's actually my entire friend group rn lol. One of my exes from high school has been my best friend for 10 years. I made up with my ex I dated during college after a super messy break-up and now we hang out and watch anime together. Recently, I had a very short term long distance fling with a guy I met on here, and we still chat about gaming and politics and shit on Discord multiple times a week.

I've definitely had messy and bad relationships that were just unsalvageable, but I really don't like throwing people away after I've shared a bunch of my life with them. The only weird part is how many of my friends have seen me naked.

Most of them. But as you get older, people just drift apart. Ex or not. Some stick some don't

Are you still friends with any of your axes

FTFY and yes

Buddy I'm not friends with anyone - despite my best efforts.

No, I've tried a few times. It hasn't worked out.
I would love to be but... Too many conflicting emotions.

I have had three serious relationships prior to my current one and I have lost contact with all of them.

None of the break ups were all that messy. In two of them we just grew bored of each other and the third one ended because I moved.

I never bothered to keep in touch with any of them or reach out to any of them. When it is over it is over.

I don’t see how I could downgrade the relationship to a “friends” level.

No

Some, some not.

I still talk to my ex-wife since we had kids together. They are adults now so it’s a lot less that we talk but still amicable.

Yeah, just one. He left me for religious reasons (we're both men). Took me a long time to actually get over him, but I moved on and married and such. The three of us hang out sometimes.

I do kinda wish I could convince him to be a little less religiously wacky. Oh well.

I actually ended a relationship recently. And it depends on the circumstances of the relationship ending.

For me I ain’t going to even breath her way after what she did to me and my family. So safe to say not going to be friends or even think about being friends with her.

As for any other exes most ended on a nice note, and if I saw them out and about I’d probably say hi but I most likely wouldn’t become “friends”

I keep in touch with 2 here and there - we don't really talk much, but maybe a couple times a year at most. On good terms with both, but just living our own lives.

The other two I haven't said a word to in years. One I've completely cut contact with, along with her entire circle I used to be friends with, once I snapped out of it and realized I'd just been taken advantage of and the whole group was toxic. Shitshow and a half, and also a big part of why I stepped away from a specific game's community that we met through.

The last one I don't like to dwell on too much, because in this case I know I was the abusive asshole - I've grown and changed since then, and there's no point opening old wounds by reaching out. I hope they're doing well these days and have processed and healed from the damage I know I caused.

No, we ended for a reason. Like her being a cheating bitch. Or we just were going different places and that's okay but I see no need to force a friendship where one doesn't need to be.

We still talk occasionally. Sometimes I think he thinks we should hook up. Sometimes I think we should hook up. But then I remember how stinky he was and gag a little bit and move on again.

Apparently one time, a guy saw us together in his apartment hallway just walking to the elevator, and later told my ex that we had a visible aura. Which is cool, I guess. But it might have just been a stink cloud from my ex.

All of them, but i dont talk to some because it would make my life unstable yet again. I make my life unstable just fine on my own.

Its possible for two people to be in love and it still doesn't work out.

I posted this a while ago, but my ex and I ended up on a 7 hour time difference and that level of LDR is really hard, so our final date was updating each other’s dating profiles. It was very amicable, simply recognizing that it was the situation not the person that caused us to not be together.

All of them yes. I make it a point to get back on friendship terms so there aren't any open wounds or resentments festering. I want to wish them the best, so I do.

Yeah. We text occasionally and she might visit on the way through the state soon. It's not a close friendship but we like staying in touch

I usually just have flings. But I'm still friends with some of them.

Depends on who you are as a person. I used to gravitate back to my exes so they broke it off and swore off communication. This is indeed one of my largest vices, and I am glad they nipped it in the bud.

Life is ever changing, they are out there as a person who is not entirely who they were before, so I needn't run into them or be a part of their life again.

Yeah, I'm friends with 2, we were in a poly relationship and I quit. My mentall health was awful which was affecting my relationships with them, so I distanced away for like 2 years. Now we speak regularly, share some news and stories, they even wanna invite me to their wedding, I'm so happy for them🥹

I have been for quite a few of them. We've fallen out of contact now. I think it's a good thing to be. But if either of you are heart broken, you need to cut off contact for a while to really get over them before you can be friends.

Nope, they was abusive and controlling to me. I'm glad I did dump them via texts

What is dating?

One easy way to avoid this predicament is moving across the ocean. You never have to particular relatives either. Move across the ocean immediately. Never turn back

I was friends with some of my exs but after I graduated high school, all of my friends went their separate ways. I haven't talked to any of them in over 9 years.

Every time I've tried to be "friends" with an ex, we ended up in a awkward post-relationship-situationship that eventually lead to a bigger "break up" and us going no-contact.

One I would describe as more of an acquaintance. We have a really good mutual friend, but we pretty much only hang out in group settings. We get along well, but there's not much binding us together.

Another is actually more like a brother at this point. We tried to be friends initially after the breakup, but we were both pretty immature and shitty about it at the time. I ended up cutting off contact and then reached out several months later after emotions had cooled down. We're not as close as we used to be, but we care a lot about each other, and I do think he'll always be like family to me.

No but not due to hostility. We just don't talk anymore the way you don't talk to some old friends anymore, ie just drifted apart. All my breakups have luckily been amicable.

Haven't seen any of them in like 6 years, maybe more

Yes. Most of my exes are people who I'd want to be friends with. I'm not friends with all of them of course, but I'm still friends with 3 of them. You take some time to heal, even if you part on good terms, and be respectful and yeah, you can hang out and genuinely be happy for them and they happy for you. One even came to my wedding (luckily my wife is not at all the jealous type).