I wear UGG boots in winter because it's fucking cold.
I also wrap myself in a blanket on the couch, and have a lovely area rug so I don't have to walk on a cold floor. All these things are necessary to survive the winter; my house isn't well insulated.
The problem with all this, is that I build up a static charge. So when I go to pat my beautiful sweetheart of a dog, I zap him. It's audible and I'm sure, quite unpleasant. Often on the head. He obviously doesn't like that, I think he's taking it personally, and I feel awful. It completely cancels out the affection I'm trying to show him.
So the question for the Lemmy community is:
How do I discharge the static before I pat my dog? I have started shocking my partner (which he doesn't like, but accepts over the alternative), before patting my dog. But as he's out tonight, I have no human vessel to offer as tribute?
What can I touch in my house before patting my dog so that he doesn't receive a shock?
Edit: standard Australian house and furniture
Another edit: I'm all the sheets to the wind so the engineering advice is not sinking in. But I'm loving the immediate response that I'd never have gotten on Deaddit.
Again: I can't stop giggling at how helpful everyone is being and how short m, drunk and silly I am, in a house with apparently no metal
And again: I should probably take me and my baby to bed now, but a big thank you to everyone who replied. You've all been lovely. Lemmy is really a different space to ask these questions! I'll be trying out many of your suggestions over the weekend; big thanks from me and my boy x
Final: thanks to everyone who responded. I did try the kitchen tap again last night and this time it worked! Mustn't have built up enough charge when I tried the night I posted. I will still primarily zap my partner's leg as it's usually closer and doing it makes me laugh. It's important he understands where he fits in the household hierarchy as well. I also learnt that American houses are very different (screws and radiators everywhere!) so that was interesting too.
I am not well versed enough in electrical engineering to say if this is actually safe, but telling someone to stick their electrically charged fingers in a plug socket is probably the most hilarious response in this thread
Static electricity is unrelated to the danger of a socket.
Furthermore, all the exposed conductors on a socket built in the last 50+ years should be ground. Otherwise people (especially children) would kill themselves all the time. Modern plugs won't even allow you to reach the live wire without pressing against both holes at once.
However North American plugs have an enormous design flaw, where half plugged-in appliances can expose current on the exposed pins of the plug (which is why modern plugs have a partial rubber coating).
I remember getting zapped like that when I was a child, unplugging an old lamp that didn't have the coating on the plug. It was just a scare fortunately.
You don't need to be versed in electrical engineering to know the basic fact that electrical sockets are impossible to hurt yourself with just by sticking your fingers near the holes