Egg cracked, therapy appointment made, anxiety through the roof (sh.itjust.works)

submitted 2 days ago* (last edited 1 day ago) by zaphodb2002@sh.itjust.works to c/trans

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In approximately 22 hours I will tell a therapist that I am for sure not a cis man and I'm tired of pretending and that I want help. This will be the first time I have said this to anyone, I suppose technically barring this post right here.

Since I made the appointment, my whole body has been painfully tense and my stomach feels like I'm on a roller coaster. I can't tell if I want to cry or throw up or squeal with joy. I can't seem to relax at all or focus on anything. The level of emotional turmoil I am experiencing is... not comfortable.

I think that's good, right? Emotions are hard. But I wouldn't feel this way if it wasn't important to me, I think. So much of this process has been learning not to second guess myself and accepting that growth can be painful.

Anyway wish me luck. Starting something is always scary because you don't know how it's gonna turn out. But nothing ventured, nothing gained, I suppose. Thanks for listening.

EDIT: Session went well, and the anxiety has abated somewhat, though I'm still basically vibrating. Gonna go eat a gummy, take a bath, and listen to a book in the dark. Thanks again everyone for such a welcoming community, I wouldn't be here without you.

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[-] CobblerScholar@lemmy.world 7 points 2 days ago

Big changes are always scary but courage is not the absence of fear, it is the will to move past your fear to claim your new future. You clearly have that strength being able to talk about how you feel with us. You got this and good luck

[-] zaphodb2002@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 day ago

I certainly don't feel strong, but thank you, it means a lot to hear it.

this post was submitted on 04 Dec 2025

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