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Anon asks out a girl
(sh.itjust.works)
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this post was submitted on 01 Dec 2025
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Greentext
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A bit of a tangent, but I really hate this. Not meaning to call you out, this is a really common recommendation for an icebreaker and it's also reinforced by popular media and the like, but it always feels to me like the implication is that if a man wants to approach a woman, they must buy something for them as part of that process. Like it's a transaction fee to be given a chance.
I agree, but the location was a bar. Kinda normal at a bar.
I get your reasoning, but personally I never interpreted it as a transaction fee. It's more like a token of good will; I do something similar when I find friends in a bar, too.
The main gender problematic I see is:
Sometimes he'd be better off approaching a bear, too, and also won't know it until it's too late. This isn't a gender thing, this is just a "some people are shitty" thing.
Yeah, I think the way it was handled in the greentext was way more natural and sincere. No idea why it's considered creepy. Buying some random woman a drink is just cringy.