I had a secure, well paying job in my mid 20s with a very well known company that I was frankly lucky to get given my clear inexperience. I voluntarily left a year or so in. I'm now in my late 30s and work ever since I left has been temporary contracts that lasted no more than a year, and each one was more dreadful than the last.

The money problems and the thoughts of where I could be had I never left that job would be completely non-existent.... the life I wish to build for myself and my family, the support I could've easily provided my loved ones, the moves I could've made to no longer be stuck on the sell your labor for bs pay wheel, all circle my brain at night in bed.

And with the current state of the economy, AI in my industry, the younger generation entering the work force with the latest knowledge, tools, methodology, etc... it's harder and harder to envision my trajectory getting back to the heights I once had.

I remind myself that I was in my infancy when it came to my professional career with no perspective on the industry (completely diff major in college). I did not have a mentor or direction. And the concept of the private/public sector in relation to job security never dawned on me until much later (I assumed that once you were hired as a contractor, you would eventually be brought on full-time and begin your career with that company.... nope ha)

... I remind myself of these things and at times it helps quiet my soul... but at night lying in bed, the most financially stressed I've possibly ever been, that reminder does little.

Despite how depressing this all sounds, there's still a glimmer of hope and optimism left in me. I'm quite grateful for the support I have currently which enables me to plot a change in course starting this coming new year. Fingers crossed 🤞🏾

Wishing everyone well in this thread. So long as we have breath, we have purpose.