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Finally comfortable and confident with sex, only to now want HRT and I'm scared of "starting over" (lemmy.ml)
submitted 1 week ago by CombatWombat1212@lemmy.ml to c/mtf
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I'm scared of the process of having to potentially relearn how my body will want to have sex post-hrt. I'm 26 and I only just recently have felt very sexually free and confident after a few negative experiences in the past. I'm scared that my skills and interests won't apply and I'll have to start over. What can you tell me about the trans sexual experience during your hrt journey but not bottom surgery related.

Also because of health reasons I'm not a big anal gal.

Cross posting this on Reddit cause they sadly weren't helpful at all. Thanks so much for your time 🩷

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[-] theresa 11 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

So I'm not a very sexual person, just saying that up front. My libido is very low and has always been that way, even as a teenager. For me, sex always felt very awkward when I still thought I was a man. It kinda worked, but I always liked giving oral to my gf more than anything because I felt like her being happy was way more important than me being happy. I had trouble staying hard a lot. In hindsight, I'm pretty sure that was because I didn't feel comfortable performing as a man during sex.

Now, after 19 months on HRT (pre-op), I can't get hard at all without a magic wand, so penetrating someone is quite unrealistic. But I also wouldn't want to. I do however like performing a more feminine role and like receiving oral more than I did before, even if I often don't cum from it. I just feel way better and more comfortable in my body.

All in all, for me personally(!), sex is such a small part of life that I would never ever delay a transition because of it.

[-] CombatWombat1212@lemmy.ml 4 points 1 week ago

I guess that's my worry is as a lesbian I still want to be with women and it worries me to take penetration off the table since it's all I know right now and it is very fun.

Thank you so much for your input this is all really helpful

[-] theresa 4 points 1 week ago

You're welcome! If penetration is what you're worried about, strap-ons exist. I know it's not the same and have honestly never tried them but maybe it scratches the same itch. And also I think viagra still works when you're on HRT, so you're probably good and don't need to worry about it :)

[-] Amnesigenic@lemmy.ml 2 points 1 week ago

As the other commenter mentioned viagra/cialis absolutely does work while on HRT, and can be combined with pumps and/or rings to easily continue engaging in traditional penetrative sex if you want to. I've had great results with this device that combines both, it's surprisingly easy to use

this post was submitted on 25 Oct 2025
44 points (100.0% liked)

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