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this post was submitted on 18 Oct 2025
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I don't any randos talking to me on the train. Commute is worse enough without people trying to "connect with me" during it.
Lots of research shows that random social interactions are far more enjoyable than people expect them to be.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-social-explorer/202502/if-socializing-is-so-good-for-us-why-do-we-avoid-it
I expect it not to happen and hope it stays that way since. Please jusr don't bother me while I'm on the train
Noted. If we ever see you we’ll ignore you.
Just post your name and photo so we know what you look like. Thanks.
I'm the person on public transit
But I don’t mind people talking to me so how do others differentiate us?
Headphones is a good start.......
It's easy. One is reading a book or otherwise minding their own business and the other is lunatic trying to make eye contact with everyone
It's like 90% drunk homeless people that talk to you on trains and buses though. It gets tiring.
If I want chance encounters with sober people, I'll go to the bar. I mean eventually the people there get drunk too, but it's a nice "5 hours and 10 beers" drunk not "what month and/or year is it" drunk.
I’m the guy who takes a shot at a random conversation on the plane.
Doesn’t often turn into anything, but sometimes it’s a nice little glimpse into humanity.
Guess I don’t know what trains you’re on that are so full of the drunk and homeless, but that sounds like a problem in its own right.
I once took an overnight flight from the west coast to the east coast. The flight wasn't very crowded and I intentionally picked a seat away from other ocupied seats.
I get on the plane, as I'm warking back to my seat I notice there's entire rows that are empty. So instead of picking a seat in an open row, and this. fucking. guy. picked the window seat closest to my aisle seat, and he talked for most of the flight. In hindsight I should have just sat somewhere else when I first noticed him.
Leave me alone.
On a plane? That's much worse, you can't just change seats or get out if you want to avoid the person. Oh god
It's not that the trains are so full of drunk homeless people, but that trains are affordable and also conductors aren't going to physically throw out a person that could get violent. Planes you don't really get on without a ticket. An entire class of people are filtered off the plane because of that.
And anyway, said group are a minority, but they're the only ones who randomly talk to strangers most of the time. Everyone else minds their own business in my experience.
I’m not going to question your experience too much, but it’s sad to me that this would be true.
A random conversation in a random interaction with somebody you could have easily not talked to can be great fun.
Or getting hit on. I’m just trying to go home, I have no desire to chat with you. I’m busy go away.
That's kinda what I'm saying though. Those aren't randos! They're other people taking the same commute as you, every day. Make a connection with one and you might start to notice them more. Maybe you have a similar hobby or interest.
Give people a chance to enter your life and they often become more than randos on the train. Maybe you find a commute partner, someone to chat with or bitch to about Jane in Accounting.
I'm not gonna try to convince you, Clearly you saw my point and chose to reject it, that's your choice. I'd urge you to give different thinking a chance though.
They're random people I most likely have never seen before and probably won't ever see again. I live in the city, not a small town where everyone knows each other. The idea of trying to connect with the poor sobs who ended up in the same train as me sounds both crazy and draining as fuck. Not the least bit because where I live, most people cherish that moment to themselves and you'd be fucking that up and bothering them.
If I was commuting with the same four people every day I'd be more likely to talk to them but not in a full ass train with random people.
And why do you think that? Have you paid attention to the people around you? If you and another person get to work at the same time, and live in the same area then odds are you will encounter them again. There might be a million people in your city. But how many of them have the exact same commute as you?
Also so what if you never see them again on the train? What if you end up really liking them, get their number, and stay in contact?
Because I have eyes and easily recognize faces. And a shitload of people have the same work schedule and commute in and out the same time. And it's a big ass train.