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this post was submitted on 27 Nov 2024
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Asklemmy
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Pronouns. I get that they matter a lot to some people, and of course it's super annoying (if not worse) to be referred to in the wrong way, but I find it unreasonable to demand being referred to something outside of the gender binary, simply because that's the way language works.
I am aware that English has used "they" for a person of unknown gender for ages, but for one, I don't think it's something that you should demand people call you when they actually know your gender, but also I really hate that this is making its way into other languages like my own, that has never had this convention. Inventing entirely new pronouns is just ridiculous, I have a hard enough time to remember your name.
I am also aware that language evolves, but this is not evolution, it's forced, and if one group of people can try to force a change they prefer, I'm as much in my right to resist it if I don't like it.
People are super passionate about this though and in fifty years I'm sure I'll be seen as a fossil for not getting with the times now - in fact I'm sure certain people see me like this now.
Using someone's preferred pronouns is a sign of mutual respect, your refusal to do so is a sign of disrespect to those around you. It's really that simple, bud.
Do you call people Johnny when they tell you their name is John? It's literally the same thing, they've explained how they'd like to be addressed, and deviating from that uninvited is just rude.
It's dehumanizing and disrespectful, it's not annoying. I've had family members refuse to use an individual's pronouns, but in a heartbeat correct themselves for referring to a pet by the wrong pronoun. I've had people go out of their way to call me "man, guy, dude, bruh" when I'm fem presenting, and I'm the only woman they're speaking to that way while I get the "I talk like that with everyone, bruh," excuse.
Correct, but then you don't get to complain, like you are, that people get upset with you about it. You're not free from the consequences of those around you simply because you have the right to feel differently on something like basic human respect for your fellow people.
I don't get to complain that no one wants to have dinner with me just because they don't like me taking food off their plates, even though I don't agree with that societal norm.
Yeah I support trans rights. If you are consistent I'll use your preferred pronouns. I don't care what bathroom people use. Health care is between you and your doctor. I only care about what genitals you have if we are going to be doing things with each others genitals.
That said so many trans people are complete assholes about it. I'm on your side but fuck so many of you are annoying jerks.
I remember when gays started coming out of the closet and they handled it better. Polite but firm about being treated fairly. The trans community is making more foes then friends the way they are acting.
This might be specific to your region? Most trans people I know are grateful if you even make an effort. Even if you get it wrong sometimes.
Could be. Grateful and understanding does describe my two trans friends. However they we friends before they transitioned. So the relationship was established and they knew I cared about them.
I knew one for ten years before they transitioned. So yeah I try not to dead name them but it takes time to adjust. For me it took about 2 years before I didn't think of their old name and have to adjust it before speaking.
I was talking about them with a mutual friend at a party. Someone I don't know yells at me from across the room "we don't use that name here." I'm better friends with them then you and you just made the entire party aware of their status.
Maybe it's just the people who make it a big deal publicly and like to challenge people. They tend to be the most noticeable in the community.
Zzzz
Just use 他
He = 他
She = 他
Chinese Language Supremacy!
(Disclaimer: I have Chinese Ancestry)
I know, right? The pronoun for third-person female did not exist historically. When western culture hit China 100 years ago, they swap out the part where it means 'human' to make a new word.
Now when someone wants to refer to one in a gender-neutral way, they naturally write out the phonetic 'ta', as if the gender-neutral word is for male only.🤦
Same goes for second-person pronoun in Taiwan.
Stop these bullshits! The Chinese language does not need to address the gender! Figure that out in context! If you are writing and don't want to confuse your reader, just use the name!
I know a few trans or nonbinary folks. They either go by he, she, or they. I have yet to meet someone who doesn't. Then again I live in a weird progressive rural community.
But if someone asks me to refer to them a particular way, sure what not? It means more to them than it means to me.
And it costs you nothing. :)